The darkness inside me
The darkness inside you
Still there
I can see that the difference is
you act out
I act inside myself
Aftermath
Sleeping and sleeping
I feel empty inside
All the rage is gone
Watching my self
From a future position
Rainbows abound
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Wednesday morning
The street had the usual colors, gray, black tarmac and dirty brown plaster. The usual copy and paste buildings from the drawing board of long dead architects in art noveau  style. The strait pompous street was oversized made for parades, tanks and trams (none of them present at the moment). Instead the steps of thousends of people and hushed conversation filled the air. The sunshine were dimmed by smoke from people making fire at to keep warm during the freezing  night. The street itself had potholes and some of the facades were missing. It was then I saw the boy, he could have been maybe seven, his black eyes starred out on the street with fear while he was hugging what must have been his grandmother and would not let her go.  Later that day the grenades would fall again on the pompous street and some more people would die.
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White light
Burning far, far away from Burning man
It is cold here, the snow is still here
I do not expect any summer soon
But the light has returned
Changing the perception of land and water
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Waste
I do not see any meaning in this life
I am just here watching
Be used, enabler for other peoples dreams
Thats what I am a vessel for genes
They don´t care if I live or die
I am just a thing
Dispensable
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You, Yours and mind
Your hope is not my hope
Your dream is not my dream
And your rope is not my rope
I want to dance the whole night
I want to live and feel
But in my way
Belive me and be free
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Losing yourself
I did not know that life could be so slow
When I was young
I did not understand that I was going to make my own nightmares come true
I could feel it but I did not listen to myself
Twenty five years later, Here I am trapped
Into a roleplay, I am always the loser making other people’s silly dreams come true
Other people’s agenda is ruling my life
Every day I fight either to change or to survive
Another day but time is running out and soon it will not matter anymore
I wish to leave it all behind and walk like a man free of burden feeling the warm sand under my feet and hear the eternal roar of angry waves hitting the stones at midnight
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Trying to do something
Just not able to do anything at moment
Trying to get results
But what is the meaning?
To do what, when and why?
It is all to late anyway
Watching me die slowly
But from a distance
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Cascading transcendence
When I was young
I wanted to be strong and without fear
Fly all over the world with my wings
Instead I lost it all
Failed again and again
In my shame and grief
IÂ hide in my cell
But the wound was painful, it went deep into the heart
I could not from the world stay apart
I had to repeat again and agin
What I could not do, I had to do
Again and again
And my life went into a loop
New people, new failures
To prove once and for all how bad I really am
But that was not end
I realized that I had to transcend
To see life from a different point of view
And play with a friend
And that was finally the end
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Journeys into the night
I am out in the night
The stars are above me
And the cold black ground
Under me
The silence has reached the city
The door to the tower is open
Schibolet 