Life did not end
It just became more
Complicated and lonely
I did not back off
I stayed put and lost
Because I had not enough
Money and support
Or was there other reasons
The mind is moving in circles
Under the hot sun
Our history together
And my fathers projection of me
Being everything he despised
Why would he help me then?
He did see me as unable,
Unpractical, useless creature
That he had to put down
As always, as in the past
This black shadow of my life