Struggle

Fighting the pain,

The fear and self-contempt

All the lost time, all the lost tears

All emotions repressed

In order to survive

And now when life is almost gone

Another try to get out of this cycle

Missing out

Trapped in the duty of caring

For children that are mine

And a bad relationship

That are also mine

I wake up at night with

The feeling of being choked

To death slowly but surly

Only the early birds singing

Like they are lost in the forest gives

Some remorse

To Live Or Die

Somehow lost

Somehow gone

And

Somehow still here

A day in the middle of life

Trying to become sane

Not losing my head

Cannot solve the riddle

Being between

What I need and

What I ought to do

Life is lost only the long road

Of dying remains if I stay

Life is gained but only

Loneliness remains

Have nothing to say

This is life in a dysfunctional family