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Maybe

Being locked in

By the other people

All their needs and

Frustrations

Cannot leave

Stenches and stains

Everywhere

It is so messy and dirty

In here

Lost the key to the door

Have to climb

The window

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The Now And Here

I am here

Lost in this moment in time

With all it’s grief and misery

All it’s good and wonderful

Opportunities of the humankind

Still the white snow and human

Anxiety covers my world and limits

My action

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Slipping

Losing grip, slipping on the ice

And falling into

the black cold water

Hurting my ankles

Trying to get up

Wet and humiliated

Soon the snow will cover

All the memories and the

Black water turn to ice

And the memory will

Only stay in my broken

Ankles

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Night Fights

The long dark night is here

Agony and fear being present

Waking me up

In the hour of the wolf

Half awake

I am in my bed and cannot run

Freezing in panic

While the monster

Approaches

Opening my eyes

To face the end

But all I see is

The empty void

Of every day life

The dark room and

The warm balmy air

Surrounding me

Telling me not to fear

What is not

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Middle Earth Life

What is the meaning

Of my life, just a jittery

Scheme of

Confusion and frustration

Long days of working

Eternal conflicts about

Trivial things or

Extreme anxiety and the

Need to create conflicts

Frustration and patterns

That repeat themselves

Eternal

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Desperate

Up and running again

The anxiety

Keep me running

Feel like having

High Fever

My mind is not

Clear, lost

In circles

And

In flight-mood

Still the power

Is there

Somewhere

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Haunted

I am haunted

By what I left behind

To much unfinished

Business

anxiety and panic

All collected into

My soul

After so many years

I have been getting

Used to it