A Trapped Enigma

The night is not dark

More blue and filled with errors

This is the twilight zone

A place for melancholy

And desire

Long gone memories returning

To the land of the dead

Fear and frozen fingers

Silence and mosquitos

Only the tiny creek

Provides some distracting noise

Listen, listen

Because you will not hear

Anything

Unless you are humble and patient

The forgotten gods is almost gone

Still present in the

White summer night

Reproduction

Inside I am boiling being furious

Feeling reduced to rubble

To nothing

Even though I recognize the pattern

Nobody will ever change this

It is ingrained in my very being

To fail and being nobody

A cloak for something

Much more sinister

That goes beyond time

O messiah

Another War

There is no place for me here

Have to find another one

Another space, another situation

We have to make a change

I have to change

It is not easy

When the mind is not with you

But against you

It is a civil war

Within

Gone and So On

Lost the meaning of living

The meaning of being alive

Ending the story

Here and now

Moving memories around

In the dark

An angel never came

Being busy somewhere

Else

Midday Night

Night is in the middle of the day

Sun is shining but in my mind

It is still the middle of the night

Looking for ways out desperate

Hungry, angry and lonely

Knowing the sun will never

Rise again in my mind

Living like a vampire

In the middle of the day

Mind The Box

Thinking outside

The box

Maybe the box

Does not exist

It could be a

Blue bag

Containing unpleasant

Things or thoughts

Still it is useful

To think and work with thinking

Raging Fear

Fear is a terrible feeling

It hunts you down at night

Mixing memories and anticipation

Keeping you awake in agony

Agonising and reflecting

What you should have done

All those mixes of unclarity

To no use

Traps

Trapped in between

What once was

And

What is going to be

I drop my mind, prejudice and thinking

Meeting my demons at the door

Alone facing the nightmare of

Bad existence

Love is not

Hate is not

But I am