Meeting at Noon

Prepare for battle, confrontation

To start allover again

Find friends and lovers

New work, new house

I just don’t feel like it

All that energy

To pretend to be something

Other than myself

Playing all those games

We need to get through

Life is tiresome

We met at noon

To settle the score

To deal with it all

Lovers disaster couple

We should never

Have met

In the first place

No Sleep

Sleeping with tigers

Gives no peace of mind

Moving the worrisome

Burden of being a man

Into a fake battle

Between women and men

Young and old

There is no place

For solidarity and caring

Or Sharing no no no

Only take and steel

Plunder and destroy

Society will scream

With joy

The world belongs to the

Narcissistic thief

To his and her relief

The honest man will

Always be punished

The good man lose

You just have to choose

Live or lose

Suburban Hell

This is like living in hell

This is hell

Welcome

Welcome to the slow death

Between clean sheets and blackened windows

Welcome to die my friend

Here you will not by war

Only by the war in the mind

Here it does not matter

Here you do not matter

Here nothing is important

Except

Safety, security, profit

For the wealthy

Here we found the solution

To everything

But never mind

Welcome to white hell of the north

Were the sun loses its heat

And the hope is deep frozen

Welcome to our emotional tundra

Forever and ever

This will not change

Never mind the summer

Or the heat wave

We conquer the human mind
We have all the answers

Welcome to our pleasant hell

In the north

We are so good here

We do everything right by the book

Here in Hellville

Letter From a Codependent Madmanæ

I just don’t know

I just can’t tell

The difference

Living with someone

That makes you lose

Your mind in the deep blue dawn consciousness

A Saturday afternoon in January

Slowly losing your consciousness, your clothes,

Your things, your money and eventually your life

Fighting and losing all the time

Finally you see this as

Interpretations of reality

Am I mentally ill or

In a situation where I lost perception of reality

My ability to say no, to feel

And know what I feel

All that stress makes me crazy

But is it in me or around me

Where do I end and she starts?

Everyday I have to do this, this and this

Because she is so stressed reading the newspaper in sofa for a far to long time

She is not able to deal with everyday life of cleaning, making food, planing

It is all so stressful for her so it all have to wait until the very last moment

While we around her cover up

Codependent is a good word

Codependent of what?

The Gold Plated Life

I live in a guilded cage

A beautiful place

I have food and bed

No job still I am fed

I am chained to history

And bound by guilt and shame

I will never be free

Waiting to die of old age

And my own misery

I have courage but no hope

Letting the momentum slip

Away because

That is my way

Can Not Fight For My Rights

I am trying to fight

But I cannot

Lift my own

Hand

For more than

Two weeks

I have been trying

To write this letter

Saying

How important

It is for me to have

The place that I love most in this world

But I cannot write a comma

Nothing, can be put together

I have such a fear

I know I am going to lose

But still

I cannot lift a finger

To say

I  want this

I need that

I have the right

My father stop calling

No one calls

I am in silence

They are silent

And I am not calling

Anymore ever

Still I have to

I know I have to

Let me go down

To the water

And relive me of my burden

 

Record of abuse

Another infighting

evening at home

Being woken up

At ten in the evening

Again

Being told how bad I am

Again

Getting up starting to clean the home

While being told everything that is wrong with me

Again

Making the dish, Cleaning the kitchen

While being told I am not helping out

Why do you not sleep she asks

Because you wake me up! is my answer

-You fell asleep to early she tells me

Again

This has been going on for years

The same pattern

Then she is sorry again

Will behave the same way again and again

Why do I not leave, I ask myself again and again

Because I don’ t know

Maybe the kids my children is a good reason

Maybe because I lost my work

And my  faith in that I can manage to find one

Again

 

 

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