Prayer

Whatever I do

Will go wrong

Whatever I go

Whenever

Forever

Nevertheless

Never mind

It was just one

Of many illusions

Hideout

Hiding in the dark

Like a spider

Waiting for better times

While the noisy monsters outside

Keeps running around

Making life difficult

Aftermath

Life did not end

It just became more

Complicated and lonely

I did not back off

I stayed put and lost

Because I had not enough

Money and support

Or was there other reasons

The mind is moving in circles

Under the hot sun

Our history together

And my fathers projection of me

Being everything he despised

Why would he help me then?

He did see me as unable,

Unpractical, useless creature

That he had to put down

As always, as in the past

This black shadow of my life

Broken Mind

Working with difficult matters

I lost my strength

Trying to lift heavy things

With a broken arm

But a life without love

Is always hard to stand

That fills up my time and thoughts

There are no solutions,

No easy way out,

breaking up is hard

Staying is also hard,