Struggle

Fighting the pain,

The fear and self-contempt

All the lost time, all the lost tears

All emotions repressed

In order to survive

And now when life is almost gone

Another try to get out of this cycle

Review

So I been told

All through the night

How bad I am

“You are a parasite”

The parasite told me

While sucking

My blood

“You used me”

She said taking

My money and hope

“Love me, why don’t

You love me

Now I am burned out

Because of you”

While running around

In circles blaming

The world

Pitying herself

Ode To The Next Ruler

Assemble energy, power,will

Try to get

Past last years tragedies

In a snowy Stockholm

Being around negative

People that put me

Below the ground

In a pit of self pity

Never mind

This kind of torture

Is part of this shitty

Life without meaning

Or purpose

It is of course my fault

I don’t deserve to live

I don’t want to live

Kill me and use me

As a fertiliser in

Your garden so

I eventually come

To some use

Together with the other

Jews and infirm

That you put there

A while ago

And then go on

To destroy the world

Which is your purpose

The Center

Freezing in the afternoon breeze

The setting sun changes the colour

Of the city giving an illusion of ancient

History that didn’t exist

The calm, slick atmosphere of the

Administrative building

So frustrating in its denial

And lack of a soul

Promises a future

That is doomed and fears

For it’s own shadow

I am that shadow

Denial and Destruction

Coming home and finding

All the my clothes thrown

On the floor

She is making

Bad excuses

While

Destroying the life of all the

Near and dear

Denial as the her prime

Virtue

I have to take care

Of the spoils

Spouse

All that time wasted

Helping you to thrive

And prosper

While I slowly

Faded away

Like a flower

Without water

Life is a madman’s game

You can play it well

But whatever you do

He sets the rules

They are changing

All the time

When he

Suddenly out of a wim

Changing his mind

You on the receiving end

No one there to support

You all alone

You try to stand

While he is beating

You bad

Then he leaves you in the gutter

This is my game he says

Smiling and walk away

You have to get home

To prepare for

The next day

In the game

Family

The small world

Is a violent place

A way to destroy

Yourself and your feeling

With the help of your

Family members

That say they love you

By beating you to death

And then blaming you

For the consequence

Destruction

To change is to die a little bit

The bitter taste of wasted time

Sunken costs stench

In your nose

Like burned tires or rotten meat

You had the time

And now you need to

Destroy your past

Burn it all down

While sobbing and getting drunk

On old whisky

The love you had

Has decomposed

You will never be compensated

Forget it all

And let the madness

Take hold of you

Go to the nearest beach

And dip your toes into.

The water

Whatever the temperature

Just do not stay there

Go on and on and on again

And I promise that you will thrive

In the ice cold world that man created

For himself and his lonely God