Rubble

Drinking to stay awake

So that the head

Becomes clear

Making the mind softer

The thoughts less quick

Less condescending

Being chained to the destiny

Any resistance is futile

Only the drugs give peace

To the battered mind

Movements

So now we are trying

To change the world

Again

Beating up every effigy

And statue we can see

Hopping to change the world

One statue at the time

But maybe

By demonstrating we keep

Barking up the wrong tree

But what would the right tree be?

That beats me

The Lost One

Together with people

That hates me every day

Realizing that there is no

No place on this earth

I have to go

I should never

Never have lived

Among you

Your world

But, you go and create

Inflicting suffering and destruction

Go and destroy yourself

Be happy in the destruction

Love will end the world

Your faith will kill you

And I don’t want to

Watch you burn

Darkness

Traveling into my own darkness

The dirty place I came from

Why am I still alive here

Can’t see any meaning

Triage

Waking up an early morning

The light is the same

Everything else is different

The selection of people has started

Being very obvious still surprising

We are numbered, separated

Then going back to our normal life

Pretending it never happened

Some of being gone though

The old and infirm

Especially hiding in the shadow

Avoiding attention

Circles of Destruction

I don’t know how to break this pattern

Of repetition, bad connection

No action, extremely high anxiety

I recognize it all of course

That is what I carry around

The burden that limits life

I thought there was

Solutions, some miracle doctor

Solving things by talking

After 12 years I gave that up

Losing faith and hope

Drugs did not help either

Repeating patterns of destruction

Living with destructive people

Became part of life

So here I am trapped

In my own dirt and sadness

Living the life that I never wanted

Run Rerun Return Repeat

The mind runs around

In circles

While the body still sleeps

Visiting the same places

Again and agin in the

Dream

Life was hard on me

Creating wounds

That will not heal

In a lifetime

Still every day

We, me and my body

Get up, go to work

Fight the fights of the day

And return home

In order to rerun

The show in perpetual pattern

That is what life is a show

But no one is watching

No one really cares

We are just machinery

And decoration sometimes

Only at night do we

Leave on vacation

Struggle

Fighting the pain,

The fear and self-contempt

All the lost time, all the lost tears

All emotions repressed

In order to survive

And now when life is almost gone

Another try to get out of this cycle

Review

So I been told

All through the night

How bad I am

“You are a parasite”

The parasite told me

While sucking

My blood

“You used me”

She said taking

My money and hope

“Love me, why don’t

You love me

Now I am burned out

Because of you”

While running around

In circles blaming

The world

Pitying herself

Ode To The Next Ruler

Assemble energy, power,will

Try to get

Past last years tragedies

In a snowy Stockholm

Being around negative

People that put me

Below the ground

In a pit of self pity

Never mind

This kind of torture

Is part of this shitty

Life without meaning

Or purpose

It is of course my fault

I don’t deserve to live

I don’t want to live

Kill me and use me

As a fertiliser in

Your garden so

I eventually come

To some use

Together with the other

Jews and infirm

That you put there

A while ago

And then go on

To destroy the world

Which is your purpose