A Memorial To The Sun

The sun brings up memories of happier days

That will not return with or without the sun

A cold and intensive light colors the morning

Time is forever, because the time to change

Has gone away long time ago

All that is to be done now is raging, raving, running

I will not solve anything because the block

Is bigger than me, stronger than me,

Eventually it will kill me

Turning Inside

As the snow keeps falling

Things get worse

Turning away from the

Difficult things that are

Caused by the inner struggle

Between adaption and

Self realization

Being introverted as part of

The dying process

Turning away from friends

Seeing no meaning of talking

Failed going to Holland

Did not dare to use my last money,

No loan, no friends, no confidence

Telling anyone

Ambivalent of the consequences

When borrowing money from

My daughter, turning the

parent-daughter relation

Upside down, just wanted

To feel well, feel my power

Inner strength, to laugh and

Get away from the self destructive

Existence called reality

My bad reality someone else’s

Dream a paradox, being told

That what you do is bad every day

Kills your senses and self respect

Endgame

Is life worth living

What is good life?

People struggle to survive

Dying and defying

Death

That is painful

But is giving

Strength a little bit

Again the

Cycle of life

Is being closed

Bad Times

Dying city

Decaying city

Filled with rich filth

Destroying the mind and body

Slowly burning city

Falling apart at dusk

Armed men

Guarding cautiously and attaching their guns to their frail bodies

In case of other frail men trying to take what little gold

They might have

No cash has any worth any more

Only handouts of food and water

And of course the eternal metal

Shining so bright in our dirty hands

Grinding

The slowly grinding

A little piece a day

Time and time again

Everything is set at repeat

I will not make it

I will never be free

Slowly the spider is

Emptying it’s the body

On blood, soon the

Prison will be feeling

Like freedom, the prisoner

A happy participant in his

Own execution