The Patriarch Circle

I recognise that story

The old patriarchy decides

What is right and wrong

Good and bad,

The other people stays silent

In the background

Avoiding conflicts at all cost

No contact with the contender

The incumbent patriarch

Rules until he falls down and die

Less and less flexible over time

The end comes and

The new patriarch repeat

The pattern

Maybe it is time to break this

Patten once and for all

Nights of No Sleep

Wild screams at night

Sadness and frustration

No limits for the emotions

The little child knows

No bound or limitations

All that energy and the tired

Parents trying to cope

The mood changes quickly

Only the love and memories

Remains for a while

Wild Flight

Running away from home

For a good reason

Leaving the toxic

Environment behind

Outside we realize that life

Is so much more

A painful realization

Since we cannot change

The basic foundation of

dysfunctions

Tensed

She comes home

After a day at the office

Filled with frustration

And ave

Being the trapped

Using us as a bin

For her frustration

Tensed and aggressive

Only the sleep will relieve us

Father

You come back to

His house in the woods

And it is just the same

Nothing has changed

He will stay the same

Being hypocritical criticising

My mothers family even though

They been separated for over 45 years

I am still his young and sloppy son

Even though being an old bald man

Loss of Action

Logic is losing its meaning

When you cannot act

Being trapped in panic

The crisis is growing

But the mind keeps

It hidden, but aware

Being in denial of reality

Because reality cannot be

Changed

Memories

Lost spaces, places that I loved

Extended cords

Parts of leaves, grass and flowers

They are all still there

Life goes on without me

Soon I will be forgotten

Only me carrying the memories

The sorrow and grief

The lies and power games will triumph

But I am free to follow a different path

Aftermath

Life did not end

It just became more

Complicated and lonely

I did not back off

I stayed put and lost

Because I had not enough

Money and support

Or was there other reasons

The mind is moving in circles

Under the hot sun

Our history together

And my fathers projection of me

Being everything he despised

Why would he help me then?

He did see me as unable,

Unpractical, useless creature

That he had to put down

As always, as in the past

This black shadow of my life