Up and running again

The anxiety

Keep me running

Feel like having

High Fever

My mind is not

Clear, lost

In circles


In flight-mood

Still the power

Is there


Cleaning Up

Cleaning out the dirt

Destroying and creating

New patternas

I am not going to break down

Again, no

Not anymore

I just have to through it out of the system

All the lose ends being put together

Like a web



Feeling like an empty shell

Something for 

Other to fill

With their 

Projections and


While talking without

Any interruptions

Being a bleeding mirror 
Slowly dying 


Losing Control

No peace of mind

The struggle goes on and on

Fighting hard

To keep on


Almost falling

Dropping the

Bottle and then

Picking up the drops



Trying to see some hope

Lost my words my language 

In this place filled with history

And bad memories

Directing or maybe more try to

Direct in a new direction 

Without knowing 

Where to and why


Stormy night, rainy day

The conflict went on and on

With no end in sight

We fought our internal war

For many, many years

Slowly drowning

While the world watched

Our agony in ignorance

And apathy

Erasing us from its memory


Daily Destruction

So we meet again in the afternoon

To restart out fight

With mental venum

Poison for mutual destruction

Telling each other of our shortcomings

And despicable weakness

Each have our own favorite argument

Slowly breaking us down

But we never let each other go

Chained by thousand different reason

And excuses

We will drown fighting until the

Bottom of the sea

Lost direction

What am I fighting for?

I do not know anymore

Why or why not

Or where to go

I am just lost on my way

There are so many options

But time do not give any

Peace of mind

Only huge black holes

The power has gone somewhere

Else for its operation and actions