When times are though

I hide in my mountains

Creating a world

A great world of my own

It is the reality and still

Completely fantasy

A paradox in itself

But my journey is starting

Here and Everywhere

I go

I carry

This World

Of my own

Gravel and Dust

Lost time

Lost summers

Forgotten meadows

Forgotten meaning

An empty place

A lonely void

Outside summer

Inside winter

I was never meant to flower

Just being here

Letting life pass me by

While the lilacs blossoms

In The Darkest Hour

Life is pain

I said to myself

Just a lot of suffering

No meaning to it really

I thought

Trying to topple the grief

In my closed world

Avoiding any encouragement

To live on

Still in the middle of all that

Darkness some glimmer

Of hope lived on

And on

Keeping me alive throughout

The yearlong winter

The Storm

Water filled the holes that dotted

The dirt road

The storm coming from an

Unexpected direction

Earlier this year

Took many of the trees

Creating a new landscape or

Maybe a monument, a dump

As symbol of the instability of the

Existence on this tiny island

In the far north

Interstellar

Freedom is being alone

Reading and thinking

Writing poems by the water

Creating another world

In this world but

Outside of it

Moving freely

Boundless in

Between spaces

Like in water

Introvert

The winter has returned

Strong winds and a grey sky

I don’t answer the phone

Loneliness is a great quality

Between nature and man

Outside I become something

Completely different

The inner journey doesn’t care

For money, sleep or food, just

Going on and on

Turning Inside

As the snow keeps falling

Things get worse

Turning away from the

Difficult things that are

Caused by the inner struggle

Between adaption and

Self realization

Being introverted as part of

The dying process

Turning away from friends

Seeing no meaning of talking

Failed going to Holland

Did not dare to use my last money,

No loan, no friends, no confidence

Telling anyone

Ambivalent of the consequences

When borrowing money from

My daughter, turning the

parent-daughter relation

Upside down, just wanted

To feel well, feel my power

Inner strength, to laugh and

Get away from the self destructive

Existence called reality

My bad reality someone else’s

Dream a paradox, being told

That what you do is bad every day

Kills your senses and self respect