Whatever

I don´t care
if you 
low or high
And
I don´t care
if you 
live or die
Just be, just be
Just be what
you want to be
If you are prisoner
or if you are free
You always gonna 
be

Bad ways

I am the last one
Surviving
And I do not
Have any kin
Alone and lonely
I stick to my sin
And that
Is ok
I belief
I long for
Redemption
That will
Never come
I long for release
Of my old
Bad existence
In universe
I am kinky
And
Perverted
The scientist
All agree
But I love
You the way
The way
You work
And this is the end
And that is the good
Way of receiving
The recipe

I do not know

She has twisted 
my head 
very well
I have been salted
with guilt and shame

She has conquered me
with her frustration 
and her projection
i am just an empty
vessel for everyones 
desires and lust, 
fads of someone
and so on
I am trying to heal
even though 
I know that
I will soon be ripped 
apart again
The sun shines on my shoulders
Because I can not gain love
but I need the warmth 
of the sun in my cold 
Country

 

The Dying Mind

I try to concentrate 
but the mind 
is not willing
is not working
I have pain
but is not a real
pain
and a bad 
headache
Trying to exercise 
my body 
But the mind is going
down again and again

Night

The night is sinister

unforgiving

there will not be
anything

the brisk air
makes
me feel

a short moment 
of happiness
,
connecting with

other spaces and times past 

the stars are congregating 

memories of old battles

are coming back


the smell of blood and fire, sweet 
There are men dying

under these star at

this very moment
but 
I am not thinking
of them but of 
men living on the
other shore of time