Spring depression

Every spring is the same feeling

Depression, depression and frustration

It always comes in April

Feeling like a failure and frustrated like crazy

I am on the same place every year

Trying to cope and handle

Fight not to kill myself

Falling apart and

Slowly healing in the summer

Save me from those feelings

But nature has its way


imageThe winter that kept us warm is gone

And with the return of life every memory of what life could be floats up to the surface

Like corpses being hidden under the ice they stink of aspiration and ambitions, memes that survive like viruses

That is Transforming, destroying and remodeling is to something else than we want to be


I am looking for my friends

I seek them here

I seek them there

I seek them everywhere

But they are gone

Maybee they did not exist

Or lived in a parallel dimension

So long time ago I stoped looking

Just meeting them at night in barren dreams

In unknown cities

May, my, you, they

Looking for a reason to have hope

But I do not find any

It is just the same

But thirty years later

I am older not wiser

Less prospects not more

Alone I came to face the world

And the world is ugly

Even in May


Freezing in the sun

Finally the spring is here

But the mind and heart still lives in the winter

It feels like the road is leading me the wrong way

But all roads in life eventually has the same end



The plants are growing

Fast and furious

Trying to kill old roots

That once were healthy and strong

But only time will

Tell us who, if anyone won

The metamorphosis is quick and

Painful often killing its host

The only things that comes easy

Is the rain and the mosquitoes

And they are endless sources

Of frustration

As is the cold white light

At night