Slowly being choked
Is a painful experience
No peace of mind
Just a lot of work
On Choking
Working
Trying to understand
What happen
I hid in my work
In my pain
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Life
Life is a game of pain
A lot of losses
All the time
Trying
Again and again
Hoping, giving up
Hoping again and again
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Frigid Memories
What ever happens
The perception changes
Over time,
Crisis in life passes
The wounds remains
The handicap will not heal
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Darkness of The Mind
Hiding in the shadow
Listening to that busy
Woman talking about
Her grief
Stunned and silence
I listen and think
On who I am now
And who I wanted
To be
Nothing has been
Achieved
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Locked In
Closed perspective, closed people
I do try to learn from my mistake
Maybe this is possible
Maybe not
Slowly moving masses of snow and
Really cold weather
Remains me why I once left this country
Now I am a prisoner here
This great gilded cage
Makes the choices rather
Limited
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The Control
Trying to keep control
But it is a waste of time
My stomach aches and
My mind is lost
Not here but still here
I do not need it anymore
I Let it go!
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Debt
Guilt is such a precious thing
Kept and taken care of
Grown by those who need
Control over other
A high price to pay
A prison for the those
Who carries the mantle
Of shame
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Volatile
My inner voices
Always tells me
The wrong thing
And here I am
Doing the same
Wrong things
All the time
The answer is
Always outside
Never inside
Inside is
Just a big mess
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Wasted Life
Anxiety keeps hunting
Me down
It is all around me
Realising I wasted
My life in so
Many ways
I cannot live
Like that
And still
I do
