Contemplating suicide
But things are so messy
Down here
That I cannot even
Find my knives
But it did not matter
I am still alive
What to do
Just nothing
Just enjoy
The sea and the sun
That is it
Inside Us
Inside there are
So much fear
And a great deal of pain
We can deny this fact
Or live with it
But it will stay
The Dark Corner
In the middle of life
You might find yourself
In a dark corner
Looking at the success of others
The beautiful life of your former friends
That now avoids you like the plague
Because you are in… that dark corner
Where they don’t want to be
Where you don’t want to be
If that is the case
My only advice is to
Find something else of value
Something that give the power
To live and thrive or
At least get by
Cold Water
When the anxiety gets
Too mighty
Too strong and powerful
Like a river of rage
And fear
Cold, cold river
Like in the far north
Where the trees will not grow
One try to survive
It is hard and confusing
Just being here
Eventually it might work
At the moment
I am under the ice
Looking for open water
And bluer skies
Desperate
Pain is a useful strategy
Sometimes it is working
Most of the times
It does not
Just blocking all intentions
All actions
Still it repeat it self
Again and again
On Choking
Slowly being choked
Is a painful experience
No peace of mind
Just a lot of work
Working
Trying to understand
What happen
I hid in my work
In my pain
Life
Life is a game of pain
A lot of losses
All the time
Trying
Again and again
Hoping, giving up
Hoping again and again
Frigid Memories
What ever happens
The perception changes
Over time,
Crisis in life passes
The wounds remains
The handicap will not heal
Darkness of The Mind
Hiding in the shadow
Listening to that busy
Woman talking about
Her grief
Stunned and silence
I listen and think
On who I am now
And who I wanted
To be
Nothing has been
Achieved