Guilt is such a precious thing
Kept and taken care of
Grown by those who need
Control over other
A high price to pay
A prison for the those
Who carries the mantle
Of shame
Volatile
My inner voices
Always tells me
The wrong thing
And here I am
Doing the same
Wrong things
All the time
The answer is
Always outside
Never inside
Inside is
Just a big mess
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Wasted Life
Anxiety keeps hunting
Me down
It is all around me
Realising I wasted
My life in so
Many ways
I cannot live
Like that
And still
I do
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Lost life
I lost my life that day
When you told me
That you had taken
The decision that
Would change
Our life forever
Now I am just
A shadow
Eating, sleeping, walking
My life is just a shadow life
Meeting other shadows
No need to connect
When they pass by
Next to me on the street
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Haunted
I am haunted
By what I left behind
To much unfinished
Business
anxiety and panic
All collected into
My soul
After so many years
I have been getting
Used to it
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Evening Prayer
Tired and full of shame
I end this day
I am so tired
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Silent communication
The pain is immense
No mercy
Just moving around
Trying to think
Other things
Love is no option anymore
No one will come by here
Only age and bornes remain
Wait I will come
You will not be there
We will meet in different times
Only having civilized conversations
Over decades
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Leave me alone
Life is so short
With so little meaning
And so precious to some
But not to me
I am just breathing
Life is pain and suffering
Life is never getting through
Life is the early mornings in the
Subway¨
So gray that it could fill a lifetime
With despair
Life is the coughing in the
Next room
Realizing that you are going
To loose and get old
Life is being alone
No one will ever be on your side
That is my life experience
Life is being told “it will be fine”
Just another lie, a stupid lie
Let me be
Let me hate in peace
Leave me alone
But with enough opportunity
To manage my own
Life
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Survival
Trying to live
It is not easy
Much more easy
To conceal
Close, shut, block
That’s what I learned to do
Do not trust anyone
For any reason
But here I am
Realizing that it
Does not matter
Anymore
I got no ability
To do anything
Good for my self
Only for others
Maybe not even that
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War
When I first went into the war
I was a young boy
Did not understand
The consequences
But life is slow teachers
I took me many years
To slowly get back to life
Still in my dreams at night
I am back on the streets
Looking for old friends
