The Wanderer’s Story

My life is over and done with

Only the last chapter remain

The snow keeps falling

Outside the window

And it will keep on falling

Life were never easy

I never let it be

No one around me

Took it easy

The uneasy life

Got into everything

We all got caught in our

Patterns

Until I woke up

One morning and realised

That it did not matter

And walked of

Into to the wild

I never looked back

Searching

New ways, here I am again and again

I wanted something different

But I all I got was the same

More of the same

Now I have to find another way

Again and again

A boring repeating pattern

The words give me hope

Not to much

But some hope

Places for Self-Destruction part 1

The family is the most destructive way

To live if it is dysfunctional

Toxic and confrontationa,

There are so many patterns, way of being

That makes you shun away from

Being in the middle of contradicting

Desires and demand

Leaves the soul empty and neurotic

Striving for a better life

But the scars are deeply ingrained

And soon enough

You fine yourself in the smae

Or similar family patterns

But with new people

Time to break up again

Circles of Destruction

I don’t know how to break this pattern

Of repetition, bad connection

No action, extremely high anxiety

I recognize it all of course

That is what I carry around

The burden that limits life

I thought there was

Solutions, some miracle doctor

Solving things by talking

After 12 years I gave that up

Losing faith and hope

Drugs did not help either

Repeating patterns of destruction

Living with destructive people

Became part of life

So here I am trapped

In my own dirt and sadness

Living the life that I never wanted

Inside the Labyrinth

Losing my sense of self

Who I am

What I want

Everything becomes unclear

I am very lost here

With people very busy

And focused on them self

The pattern is built on pain

Avoiding and giving

And shame of course

Fidelity

The spring is finally here

Fidelity to the patterns

Since long time engraved

Guarantees the same outcome

Year after year

Prisoner in my own prison

The day passes quickly

A the night is sleepless

Doubting I ever brake this

Destructive pattern

A miracle is needed

A miracle will not come

The light is the sky and

Earth is black