Tired

I am so tired

The energy is gone

I am not tired

To hear that I got so much

Problem

I am tired of being owned by others

Defining me

I will rise

Nightmare

The restless night

Has started

Filled with

Screams and

Frustration

The nightmare and memories

Comes back to haunt us

As well as screaming kids

And frustrated spouses

Every night I return

Every day a relief

Nine Years

I see you walking away

While the snow is falling

How could I know

That after nine years

We would hate

Each other

So much that we

Not even share bed

Anymore

Life is so short

And so much time

Will be spent fighting

Small things leading

To conflicts everlasting

Will be our destiny

Can we change

Will we change

I do not know

Time and madness

Will tell

One Gray Day

After being abused and used

So many times, manipulated

Again and again, my sight

Was clear watching the

Devastated landscape

That once was my life

Goodness is the road to hell

I thought that love would

Heal her wounds but

Trashed people trashes you

And eventually destroys

What they have

Here I am trapped by

Doing what I learned

Was right, turned out

To be an illusion

I stand here

Not knowing

Where to start

 

 

Blame

I cannot blame

Anyone but myself

And here I am

Desperate to change

Without being able

To change at all

Caught between

Different ideological fantasis

Of what life should be like

And how to solve it’s vice and evils

No, they have no realistic solutions

And neither do I

On the Run

On the run

From the inevitable

Disaster that

Eventually will catch

Up blaming

Us all for our incompetence

Whatever we do

It all depends on her mode

Of the moment

Trashing us to pieces

Year after year

Frost bites

Attuned to the hopelessness

Of the day as it presented itself

I continued in the same mode

Not much to do or achieve

Just the mistake of being me

In a very cold place

I had to accept and fall off

Discreetly leaving the

Disasters I caused by being me

Behind for other to clean up

If at all possible

Being Used

And now again

The same old story

Repeating to us

The wisdom, that one learn

Nothing, going into the same

Trap again and again

With open eyes