Hide Out

Fear and shames

Took me here

Hiding from

Everyone

Trying to erase

My existence

As much as

Possible

Failure is

Always

Unforgivable

I never try

Again

I always say

A Circle

Trying to find

A solution

As I have done

My whole life

Meaning and

The lack of meaning

Waiting to return

Back to point zero

For another cycle

Scheme

Illusions are great

I am making

A Ponzi scheme

For myself borrowing

Resources of the future

In the vain hope of getting

My life back later

It is working at the moment

Being Used

And now again

The same old story

Repeating to us

The wisdom, that one learn

Nothing, going into the same

Trap again and again

With open eyes

Not determined message

Care, care, care

For others

Care, care, care

For yourself

Reaching conclusion

While it is to late

And watching the ship

Sink deep into the ocean

It will sink again and again

While you are playing

Your own drama on play and repeat

And that is the base for our

Relationship

Trap

It has all gone too far

Too slowly

So that one does

Not think about it

And suddenly

You find yourself

In a place of no return

The problem is that

With open eyes

We walk into the trap

Knowingly

Thinking it will

Not be big problem

Then it is too late

Certain moments in time

Certain days are just too bad to be put down in writing

Certain moments deserves to be forgotten forever

Even if the sun is shining life can be hell as we all know

I am sorry for my own inability to handle my own problems

But that is the fact, and the sun will still shine

Whatever I do or not

Cascading failure

Feeling bad and crazy

I manage to repeat

My failure today again

Frustration and shame

Is so hard to carry around

I wish that  was Different

But time past is time lost

Only the long days will ease

The pain