Thinking

My mind is cold

Calculating

How things could be

What will happen

What will not happen

Underneath that is

Grief, sorrow and frustration

Time will only heal

Some wounds

Turning

The night turns into day

Having a hard time breathing

Waking up, changing position

Falling asleep again

Time passes quickly too quickly

Wild dreams all night

Outside the eternal white

Summer light

Grief

Sleepless

Keeping the mind awake

With meaningless rants

About this and that

I lost it all and still I am here

Being Broke

I am broke

Mentally

Financially

Psychologically

And very, very tired

I failed in every way

All the time

Right now and into

The dark future of our world

Maybe there could be some

Strange, unconventional meaning

In my life

Maybe

But I doubt

And it does not matter

Because what is, is

Wanted

All those thing

That gives life

Some meaning

I wanted them too

A work, friends, things

But none of them are mine

Nights of No Sleep

Wild screams at night

Sadness and frustration

No limits for the emotions

The little child knows

No bound or limitations

All that energy and the tired

Parents trying to cope

The mood changes quickly

Only the love and memories

Remains for a while

Opening

The soft white light of winter

Changes the perception

When tired and ill

Life passes by outside in

The afternoon

Waiting for the anxiety

To go away

Even though I know

This will not happen

Opening a window

To the world