Stress

Running around the city

Like fool trying to find

Hope and prosperity

It is mostly lost in sight

My mind is empty

Feeling the stress again

How can one succeed

When the head is empty

And the thoughts are

Running in circles

Waiting for things

To go really bad

Springwater

Lost language and hope

The ability to write

Madness looming together

With depression

Trying to keep my grip

Sun rising higher in the sky

Everyday now in the early frozen spring

Sometimes

The best thing is the sun

Gone for most of the winter

To get to know the heating strokes

Again

It is an awful place to live

Your life in darkness

Takes it’s toll

Will is not being

Done for you

In this

Cold early spring

Trap

It has all gone too far

Too slowly

So that one does

Not think about it

And suddenly

You find yourself

In a place of no return

The problem is that

With open eyes

We walk into the trap

Knowingly

Thinking it will

Not be big problem

Then it is too late

Shopping

The city is filled with people trying to sell you things, lifestyle, coke or their own life story (true or fake) The crazy art of selling nothing for something to someone. I try to avoid this place since I am out of money.

But new strange things happen and curiosity hunts the cat. A wonder formula for selling was being sold. Big audience of the same people hearing the same things as soo many times before. And then the disappointment of being there to listen on a 4 hour sales pitch.

Substance yes a little bit, credibility none. why does so many sales people trying to fool you? When I left the people of city had left and I did not buy a thing only enjoying the small green leafs on trees this late spring

 

Spring depression

Every spring is the same feeling

Depression, depression and frustration

It always comes in April

Feeling like a failure and frustrated like crazy

I am on the same place every year

Trying to cope and handle

Fight not to kill myself

Falling apart and

Slowly healing in the summer

Save me from those feelings

But nature has its way

Spring

imageThe winter that kept us warm is gone

And with the return of life every memory of what life could be floats up to the surface

Like corpses being hidden under the ice they stink of aspiration and ambitions, memes that survive like viruses

That is Transforming, destroying and remodeling is to something else than we want to be