Contemplating suicide
But things are so messy
Down here
That I cannot even
Find my knives
But it did not matter
I am still alive
What to do
Just nothing
Just enjoy
The sea and the sun
That is it
False Truth
If you think that
Suicide is the solution
To your great confusion
Life has a surprise for you
What a gift
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Endnotes
So here we are again
Wanted by nobody
A wasted state of mind
Why do we exist?
There is no meaning to life
No meaning at all
What so ever
Soon we will be gone
Forever forgotten
Leaving this empty world
Behind us
We was never meant to be
Soon we will not be anymore
And it does not matter
Happy not to share
Another day on earth
With you all
There is no meaning in being
Just a meaningless life
Soon we will all be gone
Soon we will all self-destruct
Maybe the stupidest of us
Will eventually survive
Darwins principle
The survival of the stupidest
I don’t want to be part of this world anymore
The world doesn’t care
The world should not care
Please let a merciful God
Destroy us all efficiently
painlessly with pleasure
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Again and Again
Waking up
After being lost
Going on
Going up
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Another War
There is no place for me here
Have to find another one
Another space, another situation
We have to make a change
I have to change
It is not easy
When the mind is not with you
But against you
It is a civil war
Within
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A Tail of Many Dimensions
Telling the wrong story
But in the right way
Changing the intention
A new path is created
Out of the ashes of the old one
Living in a small room
That open up inside itself
For another journey
Life is short and the moment
Catches on creating an
Illusion of eternity
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The Same Spring
Every spring is the same
My life is a great failure in every way
Planning to leave it all behind
Looking for methods, places and reasons
So I am sorry this is not working
Anymore
Still I go on
Event
Every year I climb
Out of this hole
Only to fall in it again
Every autumn
When the dark world
Returns
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The Spring Snow
Waiting for things
To end well or not
Life has long time ago
Lost its meaning
I just exist out of defiance
Against my country
That despises me
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Cold Spring
Planning my own
Suicide
Avoiding the worst
Ways of doing it
To go away
Requires planning
And relevant techniques
After a while
The insight that I am not ready
Slips through all the anxiety and pain
I return to the bleak sunlight
At spring biding my time
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Survival
Survival is not a necessary thing
I don’t care
Anymore
My life is awful
I cannot move
Just being a prisoner
Of my own making
Without being
Able to free myself
Schibolet 