Updated Mess

Contemplating suicide

But things are so messy

Down here

That I cannot even

Find my knives

But it did not matter

I am still alive

What to do

Just nothing

Just enjoy

The sea and the sun

That is it

Endnotes

So here we are again

Wanted by nobody

A wasted state of mind

Why do we exist?

There is no meaning to life

No meaning at all

What so ever

Soon we will be gone

Forever forgotten

Leaving this empty world

Behind us

We was never meant to be

Soon we will not be anymore

And it does not matter

Happy not to share

Another day on earth

With you all

There is no meaning in being

Just a meaningless life

Soon we will all be gone

Soon we will all self-destruct

Maybe the stupidest of us

Will eventually survive

Darwins principle

The survival of the stupidest

I don’t want to be part of this world anymore

The world doesn’t care

The world should not care

Please let a merciful God

Destroy us all efficiently

painlessly with pleasure

Another War

There is no place for me here

Have to find another one

Another space, another situation

We have to make a change

I have to change

It is not easy

When the mind is not with you

But against you

It is a civil war

Within

A Tail of Many Dimensions

Telling the wrong story

But in the right way

Changing the intention

A new path is created

Out of the ashes of the old one

Living in a small room

That open up inside itself

For another journey

Life is short and the moment

Catches on creating an

Illusion of eternity

The Same Spring

Every spring is the same

My life is a great failure in every way

Planning to leave it all behind

Looking for methods, places and reasons

So I am sorry this is not working

Anymore

Still I go on

Event

Every year I climb

Out of this hole

Only to fall in it again

Every autumn

When the dark world

Returns

The Spring Snow

Waiting for things

To end well or not

Life has long time ago

Lost its meaning

I just exist out of defiance

Against my country

That despises me

Cold Spring

Planning my own

Suicide

Avoiding the worst

Ways of doing it

To go away

Requires planning

And relevant techniques

After a while

The insight that I am not ready

Slips through all the anxiety and pain

I return to the bleak sunlight

At spring biding my time

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