Creating is surviving
Striving to grow
Out of my body
To grow out of my soul
To grow out of my brain
To outgrow my limitation
To receive
To give
To live
To die
To Survive
Subway
I came to late
Just in time
When they sealed
Of the station
A woman in civil clothes
Telling people not to go
Down
Then came the fire trucks
Ambulances and police cars
With all their equipment
The water on the platform
Were the only remains
One hour later
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The World
The latent virus of the Cold War never went away
It came back to us, full of new features
The world now
Divided between the rich, affluent or just crooked
While big men with guns standing on their guard ready to kill
Or at least harm while preparing another massacre in a tiny village
The battle for the control of resources has just started again
Plans are being made, the control so important, still such a
Great illusion being extended to every corner of human existence
New types of weapons being created more efficient
In killing is being put up, to win you need to create chaos
A great ladder for climbing while we are falling
Avoiding to prepare until the very last moment
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I Don’t Want To Go
The end is so near
I am not ready
To end it all
Just lost the meaning
To live
Have to find a new one
I know I am not
Good enough and
That is not really
Where I want to be
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Only That
I don’t want to break down
Or commit suicid
I don’t want to fight
I don’t want to hate
Someone I only want
To live
My life
Have an economy
That works
Not losing
Money every day
Only thar
Nothing more
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Grey Nights
Eternal grey clouds
Moving quickly over
The night sky
While I move across empty
Dark streets in the suburbs
Cold and tired after a
Long day,
I am received with
Angry words and demands
I do not know why
I am still here
In this sad position
It is like magic
Only the pine trees
Will be my witness
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Surviving
Fear is a good thing
Keeping you alive in the winter
Makes you run and avoid danger
The fearless might be the dead one
You find them frozen to death
In the morning
Looking like they are still alive
With open eyes
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Submitting Myself
Calm and imbalance
Keeping the balance
Means losing my self
But living in peace
Following her every whim
Keeping her comfort
While slowly losing my will
Like a spiders web surrounding me
Suffocating everything around her
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Surviving Being a Partner to a Bipolar
Living with a bipolar partner can be very traumatic. All conflicts tend to be extreme. Whatever you are doing is completely wrong. You don’t deserve any credit for anything. No matter what you have done so far is never enough.
Then after that comes the change. She is so sorry for what happened and what she has done. Then there is a slight chance that you can agree on something. This agreement she might keep or not. But the that is s good start.
Once this pattern has repeated itself enough often. One start to adapt and create strategies for handling it. Eventually however it gets you and you can give up talking about your needs since they are not acceptable if he/ she does not feel well or is frustrated for one reason or another. It can be a family quarrel with a mother or something at work. You will have to carry the burden of that by being the target of aggression and merciless criticism for something completely different like putting the children to bed too late or in the “wrong ” way.
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Shadowland
Running away from my shadow
Into the land of shadows
Embracing the darkness
The obscurity of the mind
And a feeling of dizziness
While trying to figure out
How to survive in this
Land of the night
