Revenge

To forgive is not easily done

Memories comes back

The perpetrator well off rich

Do not regret but celebrate

His act still after thirty years

The memory remains

An open wound

I don’t love, I do not hate

I realize that

I will not make it

I messed it up

I do not seek to forgive

I do not seek forgiveness

Anymore, just strength

To make it through

The day

Christmas in Dubrovnik

Moving through  the highly risky

Terrain in a lush green forest

Above the old city

I remembered

The war more than 10 years ago

Still visible with all its

Shellmarks making

Roses on the ground

Telling a distant story

Of terror and death

The war had just ended

At Christmas, just a

Shell fired in the afternoon

From the enemy in order to

Make their presence known

Later that night

The captain shot

His girlfriend in a bar

Not far from the Hotel

The scars lingers under the surface

But surface

Cosmetic beauty  that money can buy

Is what you will see

 

Chicago

I came to Chicago

Filled with sinful desires

A crossroad became my destiny

Lost and haunted by the ghost

Of the big city by the blue lake

I retreated back

Not any wiser

But still filled

With desire

Freedom Drive

Driving around the empty city

Feeling happy

Because of a little stolen time

The Christmas chimera soon

To be gone as a hallucinogenic

Luna Park at Burning man

The short gray days has stolen

All energy and hope

Still the night offers great remorse

As I drive through the empty streets

Early in the black afternoon

Outside

Out in the world

A quick dive

Into reality

The noise, the smell, the cold

People moving around seemingly without a plan

I have fear, deep fear

That i cannot handle in any way

I am a prisoner of my own mind

No matter where I go

My cell will follow me

Opera

The is a stage

And you are not invited

Other spectators are delighted

But face the fact and react

This is your only chance

By all means well-meaning

People that wants to form you

For their own affirmation

Their gateway to the secular heaven

One of many illusions of our time

The children’s play on the floor

Of the exhibition hall

Pretending to be in another world

Being close and still so far apart

Life separate us

Creating that imbalance

That builds cities and life’s

Contradictions necessary and

Unavoidable

But in the end

It will destroy us

Life running through us

On the way to something

Else

Lost

I am so confused

Have no oversight

No visions

No perspective

Only trying to get through

The jungle that is this city

Walking in circles in dark alleyways

Talking to strangers

With their own agenda

In my pocket is a white stone

Like an amulett

 

Dark Matter City

IMG_1181

The city is dark

A dark matter

That is mine

The rain stopped

Falling

Giving a break to

Frozen walkers

All the grey people

Passing by in my

Everyday life

Losing my keys

For a moment

I feel not welcome

Anymore

The night approaches

Being even colder

It will take time before

The light returns

Subway mists

And here I am again

An angry man yelling

In the street

Bothering everyone

Passing time by acting

Crazy, dirty and wretched

Scaring children, women and some men

Disturbing the so tranquil balance

Between the conditions of being a town dweller

And just a disturbed frustrated man in a to big flock

Pretending to be living an advanced life in the city of trivial

Dreams impossible to comprehend or ever achieve

But still a city with its much wider but still limited

Freedoms dating back to the free republics of

The white sea in the far south

Long gone Socrates also learned to know its

In fact very strict limitations

Drinking bad wine and talking to much

Day and night