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Only That

I don’t want to break down

Or commit suicid

I don’t want to fight

I don’t want to hate

Someone I only want

To live

My life

Have an economy

That works

Not losing

Money every day

Only thar

Nothing more

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Repeat

We are always inside

Our head,

Our experience,

Our memories,

Haunts us down

Eventually they might kill us

Slowly not quickly

We repeat our experience

We are aware of this

Still we do it

Prisoners of our own mind

Still something gives us

A glimpse of free choice

Like diamonds in a sea

Full of shit

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Lonely Running Time

Lonely forever and ever

That is my nature

All those people passing by

Without me knowing why

All those important things

That has to be done

Without any reason why

There is a stream in time

That everything has to be done

Now, or just before now

Run,run and run

Your life will not be fun

Nothing needs to be done

It is just an illusion of our

Time

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Traps

Sometimes your fear

Becomes a trap

Being in a war

Makes it easy

To forget that

You are not in a war now

You do not need to feel fear

Here

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I am the Problem

The problem is rising

It is me

And I cannot solve it

Since I am the very problem

But for whom?

Well,

If I do I will die

Since I am the problem

I am not me

I am the problem

The trash that you

Stash away

You don’t like me

You will have more of me

Solve me and I melt away

Like snow a sunny day

It seems like an insurmountable

Gigantic iceberg that has

Taken over my mind and soul

Cannot do it

I will not do it

Only escape the pain

That has been my life

Part of my life for so long

Looked up, looked in

And eventually I will

Succumb

Or just melt away

And appear in a different

Form and not what I

Once was

A problem

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Traps

Trapped in between

What once was

And

What is going to be

I drop my mind, prejudice and thinking

Meeting my demons at the door

Alone facing the nightmare of

Bad existence

Love is not

Hate is not

But I am

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Letter From a Codependent Madmanæ

I just don’t know

I just can’t tell

The difference

Living with someone

That makes you lose

Your mind in the deep blue dawn consciousness

A Saturday afternoon in January

Slowly losing your consciousness, your clothes,

Your things, your money and eventually your life

Fighting and losing all the time

Finally you see this as

Interpretations of reality

Am I mentally ill or

In a situation where I lost perception of reality

My ability to say no, to feel

And know what I feel

All that stress makes me crazy

But is it in me or around me

Where do I end and she starts?

Everyday I have to do this, this and this

Because she is so stressed reading the newspaper in sofa for a far to long time

She is not able to deal with everyday life of cleaning, making food, planing

It is all so stressful for her so it all have to wait until the very last moment

While we around her cover up

Codependent is a good word

Codependent of what?

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Grinding

The slowly grinding

A little piece a day

Time and time again

Everything is set at repeat

I will not make it

I will never be free

Slowly the spider is

Emptying it’s the body

On blood, soon the

Prison will be feeling

Like freedom, the prisoner

A happy participant in his

Own execution

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Trapped

I am in the

Loop

Returning to patterns

Of thought and actions

Belonging to the neurotic

Mind and it’s

Never ending circles

While the stream of life

Passes by