The Price of Wisdom

Wisdom is hard to earn

The name of the currency

Is your life

Is your hope

That is hard to handle

This is not what I dreamed of

But this is my destiny

To pay a price

So high

That I will never make it

In the real world

That is the price of being

Called “Wise”

Chained

I have to live

With myself

Eventually

All the time

Until I die

And then the unknown

If I do exist

That is

Dreamscapes

All those dreams

What is inside

My shattered mind

Lost both focus and

Concentration

Directed my lose ends

As well as I could

But got blocked in the end

Having all this time and still

Not being able to do anything

Because all these anxiety filled

My consciousness completely

This paradox being in and out of

Control created a fake identity

I am still trying to understand

What I am feeling and if I am

Feeling

Realising the importance of being

Authentic and how difficult it is

To be authentic

Just one of many paradoxes

That will never solve any problem

At all

Submitting Myself

Calm and imbalance

Keeping the balance

Means losing my self

But living in peace

Following her every whim

Keeping her comfort

While slowly losing my will

Like a spiders web surrounding me

Suffocating everything around her

Slowly Dying

Moving around on

The frozen tundra

Along with the other

Lost soul who ended up here

In the far north

The place where you find

Yourself out of life and lust

Just empty cold days without

Meaning and hope

Travelling from work (if you have such a thing)

To home losing the last feelings of

Hope and Joy

Letter From a Codependent Madmanæ

I just don’t know

I just can’t tell

The difference

Living with someone

That makes you lose

Your mind in the deep blue dawn consciousness

A Saturday afternoon in January

Slowly losing your consciousness, your clothes,

Your things, your money and eventually your life

Fighting and losing all the time

Finally you see this as

Interpretations of reality

Am I mentally ill or

In a situation where I lost perception of reality

My ability to say no, to feel

And know what I feel

All that stress makes me crazy

But is it in me or around me

Where do I end and she starts?

Everyday I have to do this, this and this

Because she is so stressed reading the newspaper in sofa for a far to long time

She is not able to deal with everyday life of cleaning, making food, planing

It is all so stressful for her so it all have to wait until the very last moment

While we around her cover up

Codependent is a good word

Codependent of what?

Reduction

Monday is the worst of days

Forcing its discipline

Upon us early in the

Morning, reducing

Our option

Streamlining the path

To achievement and

Failure,

You cannot be creative

Just working catatonic

In the catacombs of

The reptile brain

Mind reader

Diving into the mind of my grandfather

Dead since almost ten years

Using the wisdom of Tai Chi and my

Intelligence skills

To become a Turncoat, an amoeba

Floating around In

The mental universe

Of the demented man

Whose God, Newton

Would rule with his rigid laws of traction and

Attraction

Searching his fragmented mind for

The Secrets of the atom and the atom bomb

Or the standing of the planet an evening

In March 1981

At the time when Venus rise 87 Degrees east

I maybe I would find,

surprisingly some hidden knowledge

About a pine tree on a remote island in the sea