Competition

My father told me how to lose

And leave things behind

Every Friday he had to win

Every Friday we played badminton

I being smaller was an easy match for him

One time things turned out differently

We went skiing in the mountains

The bitter cold at top and gray sky

Made him challenge me

-First to the bottom wins he said

And off I went

Fearless down the hill

He came far behind

I won not by 100 meter

But maybe 400 meter

He never spoke about it

Again

On Disasters

Disasters can appear in many ways

The can be big colorful and fragrant or

Small creeping and discrete

Somehow going under the radar

Until they hit you hard in the head

Like now, we don’t notice until

It is too late and the scream of the dying

Wakes us up in the middle of the night

The Final Spell

Sometimes everything

That needs to be said

Is said in a sadistic

Way when you are old

Life feels fulfilled

Even though it has been

Rather awaful

You could live 500 years

Or die tomorrow

Never mind

Triage

Waking up an early morning

The light is the same

Everything else is different

The selection of people has started

Being very obvious still surprising

We are numbered, separated

Then going back to our normal life

Pretending it never happened

Some of being gone though

The old and infirm

Especially hiding in the shadow

Avoiding attention

My Song

For a long time

I tried not to get involved

Avoiding conflicts

Believing that things

Would work out anyway

They did not do that

The bad people continued

Their way

Since no one stood up against

Them life went on

And in the end

I lost my self

My will to live

My sense of living

Eating pills did not

Solve but maintained

Things as they were

So here I am alone and old

Soon gone

This is my song

Isolated

The mind is lost in itself

Cluttering every free space

Isolated in a

Never felt before

Accepting my loneliness

As a part of life

It is still painful

The Final Act

So the eternal struggle starts

In this drama

There will never be any end to it

Different will

I am the week one

She is the strong

Money and thrift

Decides

Soon only the ashes

Will be left of me

Happy to leave this

Ugly planet

Meaning

Cold and frozen

Fear of losing control

Still control is an illusion

When it comes to the mind

Only if your subconscious agrees

Is anything possible

Living in this limbo

My mind wants one thing

The rest has other things in mind

Moments of Experience

When I was a boy

I dreamt of a brighter better day

A day when I wasn’t alone

A day of love and joy

But with age comes

Wisdom and the joy

The great joy of not needing

To share moments

With those not interested

Everyone in their own eco chamber

Makes a lot of noise

Only the silent trees offers

Remorse and peace

For a troubled mind