Preparing The Battle

I have to stand my ground

Nervous full of fear

What am I?

Guilt, pain and deep

Anxiety that pulses through

The system

Still the sun shines through

The window

Mental Earthquakes

The foundations are shaking

Everything is in the balance

A loss or a gain is a temporary thing

We have to keep on running

But when we stop

What will we do then?

Pressure And Pain

The pain is immense

It is an opened wound

That I carry around

All of the time

Normally hidden

But now it is opened

Burning like fire

Eventually it will

Do me in

Fear

The anxiety is like a

Trapped animal

Trying to get out

Being chained

To the wall of circumstances

How to get out?

How to break the chains?

I been asking those questions

For decades now

Still I have no answers

Panic

When losing control

Very early in the morning

A feeling of

Great panic

Still that is an illusion

We never have control

Just a belief and a will

That takes all the

Oxygen in the rooom

The Breakup

Moving in and out of total

Paralysis, anxiety becomes

Uncontrollably

Floating around in what cannot be defined

I failed so many times

And therefore

Why try again

Another War

There is no place for me here

Have to find another one

Another space, another situation

We have to make a change

I have to change

It is not easy

When the mind is not with you

But against you

It is a civil war

Within