Past present

It is all over now
It is all over me now
the pain, the memories
the fear of tomorrow
There are no lights
in the attic on the other side of the street anymore

I miss my freedom
I feel time has got me again
The now will turn
to autumn and winter again
and again
each year with a little shorter summer
I miss my youth
I miss my future
and my past
but who could know
this then and now?
The evening falls fast
this time of the year


This is me
That is what I am
The pain of thought
The pain of memory
Feeling that is all
out of control
Someone else also
with a broken faith
a broken mind
She want me to move
as she is used to
As her father did
But I am not here
I escape, avoid,
walking around
Forgetting other
The summer will soon be over
The winther is in my heart


Defending my weak spots
I have hidden in the sand
for so long
All my grudge 
All my pain
All my neurosis 
i try to hide them
under the sand
in the sun
while watching
the sea
They give me a lot of pain
waiting to take a bath
when nobody is watching 
This might never happen

On top of me

While silence fell
I did fall
Down on my knees
Begging for my life
And others
This caused concerned
For that the submission
Were to obvious
And the power to visible
They therefore pretended
To be on equal footing
Like the people with power
Are supposed to be in any
Democracy of rang and
The decision were of course
Already made
On the principle of repression
And consolidation of their
Murky way

The therapist

The Psychotherapist has his own power play
controlling you by playing on your feelings
and you need him to make your day.
He is making you feel bad
so he can rule you
but he promise 
Just cashing in 
his money from the state
day after day
he sits in his dungeon 
waiting like a spider
for his victim
Sucking them dry
of life
giving them some
comfort to dull their pain
And after 12 years of talking
we both know it wont be better
but he will cash in about 150000 dollar
put them in the sawmill he bought last
year while I will stay poor
and lonely a still without solving
or releasing me from the
anxiety that I carry like a millstone 
tied to my neck

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