Nights of No Sleep

Wild screams at night

Sadness and frustration

No limits for the emotions

The little child knows

No bound or limitations

All that energy and the tired

Parents trying to cope

The mood changes quickly

Only the love and memories

Remains for a while

Unnatural Museum

Old animals propped up

Behind glass, skeletons and stones

More bones, the dusty interior

Fills up with families and endless

Numbers of children

Running around screaming

A little life into the dead structure

Surviving Being a Partner to a Bipolar

Living with a bipolar partner can be very traumatic. All conflicts tend to be extreme. Whatever you are doing is completely wrong. You don’t deserve any credit for anything. No matter what you have done so far is never enough.

Then after that comes the change. She is so sorry for what happened and what she has done. Then there is a slight chance that you can agree on something. This agreement she might keep or not. But the that is s good start.

Once this pattern has repeated itself enough often. One start to adapt and create strategies for handling it. Eventually however it gets you and you can give up talking about your needs since they are not acceptable if he/ she does not feel well or is frustrated for one reason or another. It can be a family quarrel with a mother or something at work. You will have to carry the burden of that by being the target of aggression and merciless criticism for something completely different like putting the children to bed too late or in the “wrong ” way.

Scream and Hatred for Breakfast

The scream woke me up

What the hell the voice said

You are so lazy the voice said

Now I go

Confused and tired

I opened my eyes

She hated me

And left me with the children

Watching bad cartoons on TV

Today I started

To contemplate

Suicide as an option

If I don’t get out of here

The grey cold place

That is my so cold home

It’s just that I don’t want to die here

No meaning what so ever

I want to die in the sun

Feeling redemption and hope

But life goes on without meaning

Or purpose

The environment here is slowly

Breaking me down

Piece by piece

Just the writing keeps me going

For a while

Nightmare

The restless night

Has started

Filled with

Screams and

Frustration

The nightmare and memories

Comes back to haunt us

As well as screaming kids

And frustrated spouses

Every night I return

Every day a relief

The Eternal Quest

So the eternal, nocturnal

Battle has started

Trying to make the baby sleep

Frustrated parents and siblings

Happy child talking her own

Language

Refusing to sleep for generations

The same problem, with different

Solutions for each and every one

Sunday Quagmire

Messy night, sleepless flight

With screaming children

Fighting, crying and soon

To be the confused morning

Trying to get the sleep lost in the terrible night

More noise, less choice

Trashed people they do trash you up

Eating the leftovers of your soul and self

Only by luck can anything be good eventually

But not eventually

Likely