Contemplative Self Destruction

Here we are in this dirty place

The people that we are

Are the ones we hated yesterday

We despise ourself

Because in our own eyes

We are failures

Creatures not worth living

We thought that we had

All the answers but this is not the case

We are losers

Soon dead

Leaving the world

To be destroyed

By the more successful

Of our stupid spices

Creative

being creative

Is being controlled

By a witch

She has no

Consideration except

For herself and her

Not so wonderful being

She is the sun

I am the dirty lump

Called Earth

Running Wild

Stress, being afraid to lose

The grip, the control

In a fighting mode

Ready and prepared

Still not present

Avoiding the fight

So I have to get down

Feeling that I can

Take the fight

Eventually

In No Control

Taking the command

Deciding how life should be

What a beautiful illusion

How could that ever be

When you not in

Control of your own actions

No AI

Driving my car in a crazy way

Through the crowded city

Raging against the machine

The monster that controls us

The collective beehive

I don’t want to leave my control

To some boring self driving car

Love taking risk, being innovative

Creative

Why should I leave that nice

Illusion of being in control

For a moralising boring

Beast?

Rage

Anger is so forbidden

A good way to destroy

Your argument and

Losing your rights

Provoking and making

Your life difficult

Is the strategy

Dreamscapes

All those dreams

What is inside

My shattered mind

Lost both focus and

Concentration

Directed my lose ends

As well as I could

But got blocked in the end

Having all this time and still

Not being able to do anything

Because all these anxiety filled

My consciousness completely

This paradox being in and out of

Control created a fake identity

I am still trying to understand

What I am feeling and if I am

Feeling

Realising the importance of being

Authentic and how difficult it is

To be authentic

Just one of many paradoxes

That will never solve any problem

At all