Taking Action

Action is not forming

My life

But great passivity is

I cannot take action

I want to take action

Change, be active

But the fear is

Definitely much greater

That makes the options

In my life so limited

Running away don’t

Help me at all

Since I bring

That fear with me

All the time

Middle of Madness

To be creative is painful

It takes time and there are

Long periods of procrastination

So here we are again

A manic stroke in end of May

When the lights is on the whole night

And people getting crazy

Nervous and filled with desire

The mind is turning, round, round all the time

Feeling bad and lost

Still so creative

How I love this feeling

Still hate it

Cannot find word

These last days has been like that

Loss of words

Lights

Morning in the middle

Of the night

Changing the boundaries

Between being asleep and

Conscious

The light has perforated

The mind awakens

Painful memories and

Shortcomings

Rebuilding what was once there

Or never been there

Like a fever dream

Only the bitter wine

Gives temporary

Peace of mind

From the relentless remainder

Of shortcomings and shame

© Schibolet

Circle of Actions

The black darkness

Of being different

Defined as sick and crazy

– Go and get help

I don’t want to deal

With it, she said

There are no solutions

To your problems

Only me and my problems

Are solvable she continued

– I have no patterns I just keep

On repeating myself again

And again, that’s all

Inner Battle

Fighting an inner enemy

A game that cannot be

Won at any moment

Fighting myself

I turn out to be the

Loser whatever

I do

A Shaky Reality

So we are back again,

Back to crazy accusations

Defining me as mentally ill,

Because i did not change my daughters dipers

Did not brush her teeth before bedtime because

She was to tired

I have to get a diagnose by a psychiatrist

Because of this

Trying to keep up, stay focused

This is a hard thing

Working to get back my energy

I don’t trust people anymore

This has been to much living together

With people that define you as mad

When they have problem to keep themselves

Together

Mercury

I hate this situation

Just been caught in this pattern

For the best of to many good years

It is becoming worse and worse

Now I am completely blocked again

Cannot work with the things that

Eventually will help me out of this

Situation

Trapped and trapped again

Pouring Down

The grey sky is wide open

Pouring down it’s frustration

Filling puddles and street

With wet sullied wastewater

Brown, gray even black water

Going down sour

You on the other hand

Call me to throw up your

Deep frustration

Just like the dark sky

Over us