I did not plan this
This was not my dream
Only tired reality
Options
Still the depression
Looms like a huge bird
Waiting for its pray
To come out into
The sunlight
No Plans
No Vision
It is possible
To live without hope
Prospect of a future
You just follow
The flow and the moment
Eventually we end up lonely
But the true
Conundrum is to rise again
Find meaning and purpose
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Dreams
When we are young
We create a fantasy
For how our future
Should become
The older we get
The less hope we
Have if that dreams
Hasn’t come even close
To any realization
We become trapped by other
People’s dream and the eventually
Consume us
And we are lost of track…
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The Dark Corner
In the middle of life
You might find yourself
In a dark corner
Looking at the success of others
The beautiful life of your former friends
That now avoids you like the plague
Because you are in… that dark corner
Where they don’t want to be
Where you don’t want to be
If that is the case
My only advice is to
Find something else of value
Something that give the power
To live and thrive or
At least get by
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The Keys
I cannot go on
Anymore,
Cannot think
I lost my car key
At home
Being criticized
I felt worthless
She demanded I immediately
Find the key and another key
Lost three months ago
I feel so bad
I should not exist
I should not live
All of me is wrong
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Pressure And Pain
The pain is immense
It is an opened wound
That I carry around
All of the time
Normally hidden
But now it is opened
Burning like fire
Eventually it will
Do me in
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The Middle of Life
Life passes quickly
Running so fast
When you are broken
Mentally, physically
There are no return
And life has to take
Another direction
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Downhill
Finally the depression
Reached me
Back home
Downhill a bad day
As a dysfunctional family work
We bring each other down
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My Song
For a long time
I tried not to get involved
Avoiding conflicts
Believing that things
Would work out anyway
They did not do that
The bad people continued
Their way
Since no one stood up against
Them life went on
And in the end
I lost my self
My will to live
My sense of living
Eating pills did not
Solve but maintained
Things as they were
So here I am alone and old
Soon gone
This is my song
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The Same Spring
Every spring is the same
My life is a great failure in every way
Planning to leave it all behind
Looking for methods, places and reasons
So I am sorry this is not working
Anymore
Still I go on
Event
Every year I climb
Out of this hole
Only to fall in it again
Every autumn
When the dark world
Returns
Schibolet 