No Plans

I did not plan this

This was not my dream

Only tired reality

Options

Still the depression

Looms like a huge bird

Waiting for its pray

To come out into

The sunlight

No Vision

It is possible

To live without hope

Prospect of a future

You just follow

The flow and the moment

Eventually we end up lonely

But the true

Conundrum is to rise again

Find meaning and purpose

Dreams

When we are young

We create a fantasy

For how our future

Should become

The older we get

The less hope we

Have if that dreams

Hasn’t come even close

To any realization

We become trapped by other

People’s dream and the eventually

Consume us

And we are lost of track…

The Dark Corner

In the middle of life

You might find yourself

In a dark corner

Looking at the success of others

The beautiful life of your former friends

That now avoids you like the plague

Because you are in… that dark corner

Where they don’t want to be

Where you don’t want to be

If that is the case

My only advice is to

Find something else of value

Something that give the power

To live and thrive or

At least get by

The Keys

I cannot go on

Anymore,

Cannot think

I lost my car key

At home

Being criticized

I felt worthless

She demanded I immediately

Find the key and another key

Lost three months ago

I feel so bad

I should not exist

I should not live

All of me is wrong

Pressure And Pain

The pain is immense

It is an opened wound

That I carry around

All of the time

Normally hidden

But now it is opened

Burning like fire

Eventually it will

Do me in

Downhill

Finally the depression

Reached me

Back home

Downhill a bad day

As a dysfunctional family work

We bring each other down

My Song

For a long time

I tried not to get involved

Avoiding conflicts

Believing that things

Would work out anyway

They did not do that

The bad people continued

Their way

Since no one stood up against

Them life went on

And in the end

I lost my self

My will to live

My sense of living

Eating pills did not

Solve but maintained

Things as they were

So here I am alone and old

Soon gone

This is my song

The Same Spring

Every spring is the same

My life is a great failure in every way

Planning to leave it all behind

Looking for methods, places and reasons

So I am sorry this is not working

Anymore

Still I go on

Event

Every year I climb

Out of this hole

Only to fall in it again

Every autumn

When the dark world

Returns