The Final Act

So the eternal struggle starts

In this drama

There will never be any end to it

Different will

I am the week one

She is the strong

Money and thrift

Decides

Soon only the ashes

Will be left of me

Happy to leave this

Ugly planet

No Remorse

My life is almost over

I could not reach

Above my two main

Impairment

Anxiety and Love

In the form of being nice

There is no place for people

Like me in this world

And I am happy to leave

Just like an old elephant

Leaving the evil people

To handle their own

Misfortune and

Eventually subcomb

Joining the dinosaur

And Dodo birds

The Third Night

I could not sleep
The night felt like an eternity
A five the sleep took me away
Like the wind in trees
Going on in eternity
A Woman I became
Full of fear and agony
I died in childbirth
Twenty years I spent
With you
When I woke up
My bed was full of blood
Even though it was a dream
The body suffered a great deal

Outdoor Dying

Tired and out of hope

Just trying to stay alive

A little longer

Without knowing why

The wind and the rain

Takes the best of me

(Not that much left)

Soon only memories

Will remain

Untouched by

The relentless rain

The Goodwill

Waiting for the doctor

This time they will pass

The final judgement

For those who cannot

Pay there is no remedy

I cannot pay

A friendly pat on the shoulder

Some tranquilizer and

I will be on my own

Slowly dying

Turning Inside

As the snow keeps falling

Things get worse

Turning away from the

Difficult things that are

Caused by the inner struggle

Between adaption and

Self realization

Being introverted as part of

The dying process

Turning away from friends

Seeing no meaning of talking

Failed going to Holland

Did not dare to use my last money,

No loan, no friends, no confidence

Telling anyone

Ambivalent of the consequences

When borrowing money from

My daughter, turning the

parent-daughter relation

Upside down, just wanted

To feel well, feel my power

Inner strength, to laugh and

Get away from the self destructive

Existence called reality

My bad reality someone else’s

Dream a paradox, being told

That what you do is bad every day

Kills your senses and self respect

Endgame

Is life worth living

What is good life?

People struggle to survive

Dying and defying

Death

That is painful

But is giving

Strength a little bit

Again the

Cycle of life

Is being closed

Meaning of Life

Maybe life has a meaning

But in the end it does not

Matter

It still too much suffering

To be worth it

Meaning for whom

What agenda drives

Your meaning

Your country, The church

Or maybe Ayn Rand

Never mind in the end

Is not worth it

You die alone

Anyway