What To Do

What do we do

When life

Hit us hard enough

When our patterns

Get the best of us

How to survive defeat and loss?

Only then the things that cannot

Be measured might save us

Like art, running or

Just being outside

In the miracle

That is nature

Aftermath

Life did not end

It just became more

Complicated and lonely

I did not back off

I stayed put and lost

Because I had not enough

Money and support

Or was there other reasons

The mind is moving in circles

Under the hot sun

Our history together

And my fathers projection of me

Being everything he despised

Why would he help me then?

He did see me as unable,

Unpractical, useless creature

That he had to put down

As always, as in the past

This black shadow of my life

No Pardon

Watching the world

Passing by

Quickly without pardon

Running along

Trying to catch up

But that is a failed race

I am a failure

Just like you

My friend I am going to perish

Into the the sea of forgotten

Memories and things

Disconnected

Running fast

Trying to forget

What happened

What I could not

Deal with

I disconnected myself

I did not know what

To say so

I did not say anything

Silencing opportunity

Now I have to climb

Up again from the pit

Hide Out

Fear and shames

Took me here

Hiding from

Everyone

Trying to erase

My existence

As much as

Possible

Failure is

Always

Unforgivable

I never try

Again

I always say