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The Patriarch Circle

I recognise that story

The old patriarchy decides

What is right and wrong

Good and bad,

The other people stays silent

In the background

Avoiding conflicts at all cost

No contact with the contender

The incumbent patriarch

Rules until he falls down and die

Less and less flexible over time

The end comes and

The new patriarch repeat

The pattern

Maybe it is time to break this

Patten once and for all

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Wild Flight

Running away from home

For a good reason

Leaving the toxic

Environment behind

Outside we realize that life

Is so much more

A painful realization

Since we cannot change

The basic foundation of

dysfunctions

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Father

You come back to

His house in the woods

And it is just the same

Nothing has changed

He will stay the same

Being hypocritical criticising

My mothers family even though

They been separated for over 45 years

I am still his young and sloppy son

Even though being an old bald man

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Differences

We are in conflict

So let us never talk again

Let us avoid each other

Forever

Hold our grudges to ourselves

Hide in our safe spaces

Until we root and get eaten

By our own stupidity

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Memories

Lost spaces, places that I loved

Extended cords

Parts of leaves, grass and flowers

They are all still there

Life goes on without me

Soon I will be forgotten

Only me carrying the memories

The sorrow and grief

The lies and power games will triumph

But I am free to follow a different path

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Aftermath

Life did not end

It just became more

Complicated and lonely

I did not back off

I stayed put and lost

Because I had not enough

Money and support

Or was there other reasons

The mind is moving in circles

Under the hot sun

Our history together

And my fathers projection of me

Being everything he despised

Why would he help me then?

He did see me as unable,

Unpractical, useless creature

That he had to put down

As always, as in the past

This black shadow of my life

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A Fake Life

To live without an income

Is to live in the shadow

Of other people’s money

Their will and their whim

Moves you around like

A puppet

The shame is great enough

To kill you, through you

In front of a train or tram

Instead you hide

Building a fake identity

That eventually becomes

What you are

Not solving, just hiding

Because the shame

Is so great

Where to start from that?

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Nightfall

This is our nightmare

The place we don’t

Want to be in

Being ostracised from

The family when asking

For your right to be respected

Not threatened

That price is definitely

Worth Paying in order

To keep your self respect

But the pain remains