On Hatred

Manipulations and cowardly acting

Finally the betrayal of your children

Denying the problem

Causing frustration and

Hatred without retreat or reflection

No solutions seems possible

Pointless resistance

Lost battles and

Humiliation

There you have

A recipe for

Eternal conflicts

Dogs and Family

The lost places

When this was mine

And in the same

Time never mine

Earning and buying

The illusion of being a part

Of a family

Eventually it turned out

That we were nothing

Just dogs fighting for

A piece of flesh

Surviving Being a Partner to a Bipolar

Living with a bipolar partner can be very traumatic. All conflicts tend to be extreme. Whatever you are doing is completely wrong. You don’t deserve any credit for anything. No matter what you have done so far is never enough.

Then after that comes the change. She is so sorry for what happened and what she has done. Then there is a slight chance that you can agree on something. This agreement she might keep or not. But the that is s good start.

Once this pattern has repeated itself enough often. One start to adapt and create strategies for handling it. Eventually however it gets you and you can give up talking about your needs since they are not acceptable if he/ she does not feel well or is frustrated for one reason or another. It can be a family quarrel with a mother or something at work. You will have to carry the burden of that by being the target of aggression and merciless criticism for something completely different like putting the children to bed too late or in the “wrong ” way.

Family

The small world

Is a violent place

A way to destroy

Yourself and your feeling

With the help of your

Family members

That say they love you

By beating you to death

And then blaming you

For the consequence

Madness

The madness of creation

Has taken hold of me

I enjoy it

Floating along

Angry messy people around me does not

Stop me any more

Tired

I am so tired

The energy is gone

I am not tired

To hear that I got so much

Problem

I am tired of being owned by others

Defining me

I will rise

Rubble

Producing a lot of thoughts

Running around in circles

While I being told how bad I am

In every way by the one I once loved

So dearly, the children in their own

World playing outside only their

Older brother listening,

Trying to mitigate between us

And our hateful tirades

It is me that is leaving

Seeing no hope

What so ever

I hate this life

And still being part

Makes it no

Easier

Only the sleep

Will relieve me

Eventually