I realise that I am drowning
In debt and I wonder
If there are any way
To get out of this terrible mess
I hope so
I work for it
I have to be rational
Put myself together again
Going Down
Conflicts
Tired in the sofa
Exhausted
Not able to move
Still I want to fight
I want to win
Just go for it
Tired because of
The resistance that
Consist of wanting
To go and knowing
The anger and frustration
Of me doing my own thing
The inner conflict that
Has thrown me into depression
Because whatever you do
It is wrong in one way or
Another
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Being
Fighting the inner war
All the time
I know I am losing
But still it does not matter
Because I am
Fighting
And being
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Now
The cold red sun rises
Just a little above the horizon
Creating an illusion of day
Icy streets and stairs reminding
Us of our vulnerability
Moving carefully on our way
To face the daily perils of the world
The long workday promises only
The darkness of a cloudy night
When we eventually leave
Late in the evening
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Battles
Trying to avoid
Conflicts at all cost
I don’t have the privilege
To pick my fights anymore
They pick me
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Work, work, work
That is no way
This is working
I am working
Trying to think
Clearly
I does not work
I do not think,
Clearly
Just some tainted
Feelings of abandonment
Not good for working
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Slowly Recovering
All that work
Every relentless move
How wish that everything were
More effortless and boundless
Trying to float
Looking at the
Eternal grey sky
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Dreams Matters
The will to live is strong
So strong
Maybe it will
Triumph
Or not
Never mind
The end is so near
I don’t mind h
Here in the underworld
Dreams turns into
Matter
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Infusing Hope
Tired, mature
This is too much
Deeply confused
Still no easy solution
Still going on is the only
Way I know
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To the Other Side
I need to be aggressive
And fight myself through it
I don’t know how
Just that I have to
In order to get out on
The other side
Which I don’t know
What it looks like
