I Don’t Want To Go

The end is so near

I am not ready

To end it all

Just lost the meaning

To live

Have to find a new one

I know I am not

Good enough and

That is not really

Where I want to be

Passing By

Looking out of the window

Seeing the clouds passing by

Covering the pale blue sky

Makes think of why I left you

That bad night

Instead of taking the fight

But losing fights has been my life

And eventually you get tired of it

Dogs and Family

The lost places

When this was mine

And in the same

Time never mine

Earning and buying

The illusion of being a part

Of a family

Eventually it turned out

That we were nothing

Just dogs fighting for

A piece of flesh

No

Keeping the silence of winter

In my heart

The gray snow and black water

Slowly ending hope of a better life

I took a big beating yesterday

Learning that I was a worthless

Selfish person

Without any consideration of others

Since I said no to her

Saying no is not an answer,

She has so much work, so stressed

Everyone is so evil to her

And here I come saying yes, yes, yes

And then one no….

But I stood my ground remained calm

And eventually it helped…

All the accusation ceased

And left was a sad, sad girl

Maybe it helped, maybe not

It does not matter

My day is still wasted

Losing Ground

Piece by piece

You lose yourself

When you have run out of energy

Resources, money

Every opportunity can become a threat

Of proving your incompetence

Your value is always limited now

Where is my place

Where can i reverse this tide pf destruction

Or is it to late?

Outsider

I am not like you

Therefore you despise me

Being thrown out again and again

From our common room

Fighting against the wind

I return again to look

At you the insiders

Living like animals

In a cage