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I Don’t Want To Go

The end is so near

I am not ready

To end it all

Just lost the meaning

To live

Have to find a new one

I know I am not

Good enough and

That is not really

Where I want to be

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Passing By

Looking out of the window

Seeing the clouds passing by

Covering the pale blue sky

Makes think of why I left you

That bad night

Instead of taking the fight

But losing fights has been my life

And eventually you get tired of it

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Dogs and Family

The lost places

When this was mine

And in the same

Time never mine

Earning and buying

The illusion of being a part

Of a family

Eventually it turned out

That we were nothing

Just dogs fighting for

A piece of flesh

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No

Keeping the silence of winter

In my heart

The gray snow and black water

Slowly ending hope of a better life

I took a big beating yesterday

Learning that I was a worthless

Selfish person

Without any consideration of others

Since I said no to her

Saying no is not an answer,

She has so much work, so stressed

Everyone is so evil to her

And here I come saying yes, yes, yes

And then one no….

But I stood my ground remained calm

And eventually it helped…

All the accusation ceased

And left was a sad, sad girl

Maybe it helped, maybe not

It does not matter

My day is still wasted

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Losing Ground

Piece by piece

You lose yourself

When you have run out of energy

Resources, money

Every opportunity can become a threat

Of proving your incompetence

Your value is always limited now

Where is my place

Where can i reverse this tide pf destruction

Or is it to late?

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Outsider

I am not like you

Therefore you despise me

Being thrown out again and again

From our common room

Fighting against the wind

I return again to look

At you the insiders

Living like animals

In a cage