To carry around
The burden of distrust
From your family
Will stop you from
Growing up
The Burden
The Great Fire
The time is not certain
Neither is the place
Where the fire started
Where everything went south
We blame everyone, including
Eachother
Playing the blame game
That no one will ever win
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Question
Why did I survive?
I cannot see
Any meaning
In life
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Mishaps
I did not know if I did
Anything wrong or
Just happened
To be in her way
Everything from that point on
Was my fault
Again and again
For the last ten years
What an awful way
To waste ones life
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A Fake Life
To live without an income
Is to live in the shadow
Of other people’s money
Their will and their whim
Moves you around like
A puppet
The shame is great enough
To kill you, through you
In front of a train or tram
Instead you hide
Building a fake identity
That eventually becomes
What you are
Not solving, just hiding
Because the shame
Is so great
Where to start from that?
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The Angry Man
Sleepless nights like this
My thoughts goes out to
My dead father
He used to blame me
For our bad relationship
I was not thankful enough
But life is not a gift but a
Punishment
Why should I be thankful
For being punished?
I pity that lonely angry man
Still alive somewhere
Inside my head
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Creative Reality
Realizing that I create my own
Limits and stops
Partly is my own thinking
Partly the circumstances
Partly the struggle with
My own feeling of guilt
This life is not my life
It is my life but I am so
Tired feeling bad
But trying to understand
What I feel
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Debt
Guilt is such a precious thing
Kept and taken care of
Grown by those who need
Control over other
A high price to pay
A prison for the those
Who carries the mantle
Of shame
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Path
Trying to blockÂ
the pain
present and far away
in the same time
time and energy
lost spaces
lost lifeÂ
breathingÂ
in and out
running around
in and about
trying to seal, comfort, forget,
run, close offÂ
I am not free
a slave ofÂ
traditionÂ
a slave of
feeling guilt
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