On Hatred

Hatred is a good feeling

Making you feel alive

And strong,

Taking quick and swift action

Demanding action

Like a wild horse

Still this is madness

True madness

But reason is limited

And maims the soul

A dangerous contradiction

To be handle with like a

Conundrum

Late a night with care

House of Learning

University is a strange place

Filled with books and bad coffee

I love this place and

I hate this place

A center for learning and

Madness

Sunshine and love will

Not cure this place

Memories From A Broken Life

Watching the coffee drinkers

In a the chic café

The noise of people

Talking with muted

Voices

Quiet violence rushing

Into my ears

Hurting them

Memories of the terror

From earlier years awakens

Memories of torture day by day

Writing in subtle language

That do not heal the broken

Mind and heart

Saturday From Hell

This evening she hated me deeply

She had made the choice

To have a really bad day

Because I was not there

They stayed at home all day

Because of the rain and the total inability

To take the bus

Maybe I deserved it

Defining me as a small man

Deserving to die in a snowpack

She spat on me while my daughter

Who sat in my lap

No inhibitions at all

How bad I was

I needed psychiatric help

And then as always

Like a hand that turned

She was so sad, her colleague

Had not done enough

I put my daughter to sleep

Waiting for the next act

Of the bipolar drama

Good Hate

Hatred is a good

Thing

Glowing in the morning sun

Like red leafs in the autumn

It keeps alive

Less numb

Then the Buddhist denial

Strategy pretending

Strengths and righteousness

The cold numbing

Needed only by the generals and

Money collectors

Winter

Hate is a good thing

The more the better

Keeps your blood boiling

In cold weather

Anger keeps you going

in the fading light of a dying sun

Hope left us for warmer weather

Now we are here alone

In the white death

Feeding only of strong emotions

Nothing more

Or less

Soon we are all going to be dead

But before that

Before that

Let us find a warm place

Where we can

Rejoice and find love

In the sun

The hated house

Every day is the same

People walking by outside

Not taking notice of the hated house

The owner want it gone, but the city

wants it to stay since it been that way

For more than hundred years

So they fight about the might

Year after year

The owner closed shop after shop

Never taking care about the life that is here

The house strives on and for sure it won’t

Soon be gone, but neglected takes its toll

And it makes love fall but what can be done

The house has no choice it stays where it is

Saturday

I hate Saturdays

That meaningless day

Just sleep and quarrel with my love

That I hate

No hope just a day that needs to pass

As quickly as possible and everyone is depressed

In the family

Outside in the real world things are so different

With so much gratitude that I have that that world

exist

Paincollector

This day so filled with heavy burdens
And frustration I tried to climb out of the pit I am in
I feel so much pain

My children are denied their love
And I am stuck in put together a protokoll
That I said I do it to be nice, to be good, to be loved

I do not like myself today
I feel so deeply ashamed
I just want to get rid of the text
And forget who I amIMG_1994