Nightmare Territory

The day has turned into night

The evening was filled with

Frustration and fear

The options are few

When anxiety looms

At every conversation

When your friends

Becomes a foe

Again and again

Dysfunctional patterns

Repeating themselves forever and ever

In a very dull pattern

I will not save my self

But suffer, fail and die

As this is what I am supposed to do

Repeating generations of tragedy

The earth is black, the soil brown

Clay underneath and at the bottom

The hard solid rock

The Angry Man

Sleepless nights like this

My thoughts goes out to

My dead father

He used to blame me

For our bad relationship

I was not thankful enough

But life is not a gift but a

Punishment

Why should I be thankful

For being punished?

I pity that lonely angry man

Still alive somewhere

Inside my head

Hiding Away

Life includes hope and hatred

Strong feelings tearing you apart

Looked into my own mind

I try to avoid contacts with

Other humans as much

As I can

In order to work with the fragments

That once was the functioning me

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Creative Reality

Realizing that I create my own

Limits and stops

Partly is my own thinking

Partly the circumstances

Partly the struggle with

My own feeling of guilt

This life is not my life

It is my life but I am so

Tired feeling bad

But trying to understand

What I feel

Detrimental Subway

A slow moving train

Inside the pale white light

Gives no rest or mercy

For the tired men

Slowly killing their

Hopes and dreams in a

Calm and regulated fashion

While the solar year

Moves on and on

In an eternal circle

That eventually will

Put them underground

Forever

Very few tries to escape

The wheel of bad fortune

Fewer still succeed

Moving beyond

The possible or expected

Life is a madman’s game

You can play it well

But whatever you do

He sets the rules

They are changing

All the time

When he

Suddenly out of a wim

Changing his mind

You on the receiving end

No one there to support

You all alone

You try to stand

While he is beating

You bad

Then he leaves you in the gutter

This is my game he says

Smiling and walk away

You have to get home

To prepare for

The next day

In the game