The Boy

Once I was

A happy young man

Being a fool and

Dropping out of school

Traveling the world

Met rich and poor

I opened many closed

Door

Sensing my limits

I met this beautiful girl

From home out there

In the world

I stood there

Naked and gay

In front of her

High as a kite

She told me

I love you

Just the way You are

Just do not Take it too far

And that was the way it had to be

Some but not to much

I started to wither away

All my dreams grow old

And in the end there was

Not much left

I had gone old

The children had left

For school

Lonely and lost

I had to find

New dreams

Overworked

Tired

I will not save you

Scheme

Illusions are great

I am making

A Ponzi scheme

For myself borrowing

Resources of the future

In the vain hope of getting

My life back later

It is working at the moment

Frost bites

Attuned to the hopelessness

Of the day as it presented itself

I continued in the same mode

Not much to do or achieve

Just the mistake of being me

In a very cold place

I had to accept and fall off

Discreetly leaving the

Disasters I caused by being me

Behind for other to clean up

If at all possible

Hope

What hope can there be

Will this condition ever change?

I am in the middle of this

Lost, frustrated and confused

In a unknown landscape

Tired

Tired of talking

While listening

To your endless

Excuses and lies

Not even the smallest

Thing can be said

Without your denial

No problem can ever be

Solved

Not even a teabag found

In the Valley of Darkness

Life in all its variety

Is a prisma of suffering

In one way or the other

Trying to go

When its as darkest

So I don’t need

To feel any hope

When the light

Return

Hope

Returns

Eventually

December mood

Being cold is a condition

Not ever leaving your mind and soul

Missing the daylight and the hope of a better life

I never had my chance, never ever

That’s ok I’ll leave this world knowing

My life should never have been

I leave humankind to solve its

Own problem

While a little life survives

In dry tubers

Integrity

Emptyness is like the ice

Suddenly it is everywhere

And you slip on it

My whole life

Is up for grabs

Any interpretation

Is possible

But without

Your own integrity

The sun has no meaning

Can Not Fight For My Rights

I am trying to fight

But I cannot

Lift my own

Hand

For more than

Two weeks

I have been trying

To write this letter

Saying

How important

It is for me to have

The place that I love most in this world

But I cannot write a comma

Nothing, can be put together

I have such a fear

I know I am going to lose

But still

I cannot lift a finger

To say

I  want this

I need that

I have the right

My father stop calling

No one calls

I am in silence

They are silent

And I am not calling

Anymore ever

Still I have to

I know I have to

Let me go down

To the water

And relive me of my burden

 

Leave me alone

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The sorrow is never mine, the sorrow is always mine

Life is so short

With so little meaning

And so precious to some

But not to me

I am just breathing

Life is pain and suffering

Life is never getting through

Life is the early mornings in the

Subway¨

So gray that it could fill a lifetime

With despair

Life is the coughing in the

Next room

Realizing that you are going

To loose and get old

Life is being alone

No one will ever be on your side

That is my life experience

Life is being told “it will be fine”

Just another lie, a stupid lie

Let me be

Let me hate in peace

Leave me alone

But with enough opportunity

To manage my own

Life