On Violence

Violence comes unexpected

Like a quick flash

Sometimes it is verbal

The result is a feeling

Of degradation a feeling

Of losing your agency

And confidence to take action

Drifting Away

Falling over and you find yourself

In the middle of the stream

The danger is as greatest there

Strong and vigil it takes you

Under the surface in to the black current

Surviving is only possible while

Drifting of in cold water to the edge

Wash your body ashore on the rocky beach

Habitat of Habit

Being crushed by habit

Things that we do

Again and again

Repeating the patterns of the past

Hatred is an intense feeling

Eating you inside out

Contempt is more acid

Keeps you away from life

This is the life given to me

I have to work it out

The Cliff

For such a long time

I have been hanging

On the cliff trying to

Keep to climb back

To no avail, everything

Has been tried

Therapy, drugs, exercise

Screaming, writing, painting and

Meditation

Still being able to exercise free will

Without constraints flowing freely

How wonderful that would be

Ode To The Next Ruler

Assemble energy, power,will

Try to get

Past last years tragedies

In a snowy Stockholm

Being around negative

People that put me

Below the ground

In a pit of self pity

Never mind

This kind of torture

Is part of this shitty

Life without meaning

Or purpose

It is of course my fault

I don’t deserve to live

I don’t want to live

Kill me and use me

As a fertiliser in

Your garden so

I eventually come

To some use

Together with the other

Jews and infirm

That you put there

A while ago

And then go on

To destroy the world

Which is your purpose

The Falling Snow

After trying to keep

My head high

Someone put it to the ground

I am breaking through

Hitting and hurting myself

Falling down

Being criticised

All the things I carry

is a heavy load

Eventually we break down

Power is gone

Hope and dreams gone

Only the falling snow

Remains

A Fake Life

To live without an income

Is to live in the shadow

Of other people’s money

Their will and their whim

Moves you around like

A puppet

The shame is great enough

To kill you, through you

In front of a train or tram

Instead you hide

Building a fake identity

That eventually becomes

What you are

Not solving, just hiding

Because the shame

Is so great

Where to start from that?