Pretending

Fight, flight or freeze

Just pretending

That everything is normal

Time to feel bad again

For a very long time

Down Into the Night

Fleeing the reality

Again and again

I cannot protect

Myself

It is getting more and more

Difficult

I fear my own life

I fear my spouse

And that is me

Family Meeting

The silence and tension

Is still in the air

Unable to find a good

Way of talking

Solving not just

Containing problems

Eventually you leave when

The contraction and denial

Becomes unbearable

The Projection of Fear

Fear is a strange thing

It catches you

Holding you hostage

Making you not solve

Anything, just avoiding things

Still sometimes useful

But only when you

Trust yourself to act

Upon it

Morning Issues

In the early hours of

Morning, I woke up

Writing

Again and again

misplacing important things

Trying to creat a structure

For

Dealing with the most painful

Things in my life

Debt, conflict

Unresolved Issues

Maturing trying to get

Out of the cave

Starting to feel

The inner strength

This is magic in it’s

Purest form

Dealing With It All

For a long time

I was Striving to avoid

Dealing with

All the problems

They were so many,

So complicated,

And foremost,

They involved conflicts

Negotiations with other

That I felt so indebted to

But most of all it meant

That wiping up the dust

Making life more unpleasant

Than it already was

In the end

I realised that it wouldn’t matter

And my bad life

Would stay so bad

If I did not try to

Deal and solve

The problem