The Inner World Journey

When the outer world is to hard,

To dangerous to deal with

The inner world is still here

Wherever you go

More or less present depending

On the place and situation

It follows you and it is

What really drives you

Father

Trying to leave

The pain behind

Breaking with your

Father and your fate

Comes at a prize

I am freezing slowly

Dying

Being free is worth

Dying for

Feeling alive, a little

Again

Until next calamity

Strikes

And I am on the street

Surviving Being a Partner to a Bipolar

Living with a bipolar partner can be very traumatic. All conflicts tend to be extreme. Whatever you are doing is completely wrong. You don’t deserve any credit for anything. No matter what you have done so far is never enough.

Then after that comes the change. She is so sorry for what happened and what she has done. Then there is a slight chance that you can agree on something. This agreement she might keep or not. But the that is s good start.

Once this pattern has repeated itself enough often. One start to adapt and create strategies for handling it. Eventually however it gets you and you can give up talking about your needs since they are not acceptable if he/ she does not feel well or is frustrated for one reason or another. It can be a family quarrel with a mother or something at work. You will have to carry the burden of that by being the target of aggression and merciless criticism for something completely different like putting the children to bed too late or in the “wrong ” way.

I am the Problem

The problem is rising

It is me

And I cannot solve it

Since I am the very problem

But for whom?

Well,

If I do I will die

Since I am the problem

I am not me

I am the problem

The trash that you

Stash away

You don’t like me

You will have more of me

Solve me and I melt away

Like snow a sunny day

It seems like an insurmountable

Gigantic iceberg that has

Taken over my mind and soul

Cannot do it

I will not do it

Only escape the pain

That has been my life

Part of my life for so long

Looked up, looked in

And eventually I will

Succumb

Or just melt away

And appear in a different

Form and not what I

Once was

A problem

Monsters

Fighting unlikely monsters at night

In my mind

They have strange shapes and forms

No peace of mind

And speaks my language

Only agony remains here

The end not in sight

That’s it

But not quite

Hollow creatures

Moving up and down

The walls of my cell

Prisoner of the mind

Chained to a surreal reality

That might exist

Or not