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Dealing With It All

For a long time

I was Striving to avoid

Dealing with

All the problems

They were so many,

So complicated,

And foremost,

They involved conflicts

Negotiations with other

That I felt so indebted to

But most of all it meant

That wiping up the dust

Making life more unpleasant

Than it already was

In the end

I realised that it wouldn’t matter

And my bad life

Would stay so bad

If I did not try to

Deal and solve

The problem

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Denial and Destruction

Coming home and finding

All the my clothes thrown

On the floor

She is making

Bad excuses

While

Destroying the life of all the

Near and dear

Denial as the her prime

Virtue

I have to take care

Of the spoils

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Submitting Myself

Calm and imbalance

Keeping the balance

Means losing my self

But living in peace

Following her every whim

Keeping her comfort

While slowly losing my will

Like a spiders web surrounding me

Suffocating everything around her

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Surviving Being a Partner to a Bipolar

Living with a bipolar partner can be very traumatic. All conflicts tend to be extreme. Whatever you are doing is completely wrong. You don’t deserve any credit for anything. No matter what you have done so far is never enough.

Then after that comes the change. She is so sorry for what happened and what she has done. Then there is a slight chance that you can agree on something. This agreement she might keep or not. But the that is s good start.

Once this pattern has repeated itself enough often. One start to adapt and create strategies for handling it. Eventually however it gets you and you can give up talking about your needs since they are not acceptable if he/ she does not feel well or is frustrated for one reason or another. It can be a family quarrel with a mother or something at work. You will have to carry the burden of that by being the target of aggression and merciless criticism for something completely different like putting the children to bed too late or in the “wrong ” way.

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No

Keeping the silence of winter

In my heart

The gray snow and black water

Slowly ending hope of a better life

I took a big beating yesterday

Learning that I was a worthless

Selfish person

Without any consideration of others

Since I said no to her

Saying no is not an answer,

She has so much work, so stressed

Everyone is so evil to her

And here I come saying yes, yes, yes

And then one no….

But I stood my ground remained calm

And eventually it helped…

All the accusation ceased

And left was a sad, sad girl

Maybe it helped, maybe not

It does not matter

My day is still wasted

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Spouse

All that time wasted

Helping you to thrive

And prosper

While I slowly

Faded away

Like a flower

Without water

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The One

Frustrated and crazy

After living in celibacy

Forever (or at least a few weeks)

He decided that all energy

Would be put on hold

Until the perfect one and

Only lonely looney would come by

Eventually she did

And they lived

Unhappy ever after