Grinding

The slowly grinding

A little piece a day

Time and time again

Everything is set at repeat

I will not make it

I will never be free

Slowly the spider is

Emptying it’s the body

On blood, soon the

Prison will be feeling

Like freedom, the prisoner

A happy participant in his

Own execution

Middle Earth Life

What is the meaning

Of my life, just a jittery

Scheme of

Confusion and frustration

Long days of working

Eternal conflicts about

Trivial things or

Extreme anxiety and the

Need to create conflicts

Frustration and patterns

That repeat themselves

Eternal

The Boy

Once I was

A happy young man

Being a fool and

Dropping out of school

Traveling the world

Met rich and poor

I opened many closed

Door

Sensing my limits

I met this beautiful girl

From home out there

In the world

I stood there

Naked and gay

In front of her

High as a kite

She told me

I love you

Just the way You are

Just do not Take it too far

And that was the way it had to be

Some but not to much

I started to wither away

All my dreams grow old

And in the end there was

Not much left

I had gone old

The children had left

For school

Lonely and lost

I had to find

New dreams

Overworked

Tired

I will not save you

Nightmare

The restless night

Has started

Filled with

Screams and

Frustration

The nightmare and memories

Comes back to haunt us

As well as screaming kids

And frustrated spouses

Every night I return

Every day a relief

Nine Years

I see you walking away

While the snow is falling

How could I know

That after nine years

We would hate

Each other

So much that we

Not even share bed

Anymore

Life is so short

And so much time

Will be spent fighting

Small things leading

To conflicts everlasting

Will be our destiny

Can we change

Will we change

I do not know

Time and madness

Will tell

One Gray Day

After being abused and used

So many times, manipulated

Again and again, my sight

Was clear watching the

Devastated landscape

That once was my life

Goodness is the road to hell

I thought that love would

Heal her wounds but

Trashed people trashes you

And eventually destroys

What they have

Here I am trapped by

Doing what I learned

Was right, turned out

To be an illusion

I stand here

Not knowing

Where to start

 

 

Servitude

Fighting a hopeless war

Losing on all sides

Still it keeps me standing

Hoping to stay out of servitude

So tired, really tired

Serving the need of others

Their lazy life tears me apart

Their fulfilment of repeating

Destructive pattern are destructive

I wish I had been different myself

Meeting oneself in others trashes me

To pieces, still I try to purify myself

In this cesspool, this fountain of dirt

The Eternal Quest

So the eternal, nocturnal

Battle has started

Trying to make the baby sleep

Frustrated parents and siblings

Happy child talking her own

Language

Refusing to sleep for generations

The same problem, with different

Solutions for each and every one