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Hide Out

Fear and shames

Took me here

Hiding from

Everyone

Trying to erase

My existence

As much as

Possible

Failure is

Always

Unforgivable

I never try

Again

I always say

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Who Silenced Me?

What made me silent

What happened

Why did I hide in shame

For so long

Why can’t I protect my self

From other peoples aggressions

So many questions

So few answers

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Cascading failure

Feeling bad and crazy

I manage to repeat

My failure today again

Frustration and shame

Is so hard to carry around

I wish that  was Different

But time past is time lost

Only the long days will ease

The pain

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Shame

Meeting the pain
Seeing my failed
Inner self

I am trying to hide
Hide from shame
My shame is hard to carry
I lost my self
I lost my soul
And now I am climbing
Out of that hole
Acceptens is gold
But better is breaking
Patterns

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The wall

 

Fighting the lonely battle

Again and again

Why is life so filled

With repetition

Why can I not change

I am trying

Again and again

Banging my head into the wall

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Painplay

Hiding away from other people
In a place with a lot of people
I am shy
I am ashamed
I failed

Trying to cope
Waiting for wounds to heal
Aroused by the feeling
Of shame and anxiety
I create new things