A Fake Life

To live without an income

Is to live in the shadow

Of other people’s money

Their will and their whim

Moves you around like

A puppet

The shame is great enough

To kill you, through you

In front of a train or tram

Instead you hide

Building a fake identity

That eventually becomes

What you are

Not solving, just hiding

Because the shame

Is so great

Where to start from that?

Answer to Shame

I am on the run

From the shame of being

Such a bad father

Being such an incompetent son

And impotent lover as well

No one loves my soul

I am so bad

And I am so tired of being

Projected as bad for not fulfilling

Other people’s dreams

I am not bad

Just the answer to your projections

Hide Out

Fear and shames

Took me here

Hiding from


Trying to erase

My existence

As much as


Failure is



I never try


I always say

Who Silenced Me?

What made me silent

What happened

Why did I hide in shame

For so long

Why can’t I protect my self

From other peoples aggressions

So many questions

So few answers

Cascading failure

Feeling bad and crazy

I manage to repeat

My failure today again

Frustration and shame

Is so hard to carry around

I wish that  was Different

But time past is time lost

Only the long days will ease

The pain


Meeting the pain
Seeing my failed
Inner self

I am trying to hide
Hide from shame
My shame is hard to carry
I lost my self
I lost my soul
And now I am climbing
Out of that hole
Acceptens is gold
But better is breaking

The wall


Fighting the lonely battle

Again and again

Why is life so filled

With repetition

Why can I not change

I am trying

Again and again

Banging my head into the wall


Hiding away from other people
In a place with a lot of people
I am shy
I am ashamed
I failed

Trying to cope
Waiting for wounds to heal
Aroused by the feeling
Of shame and anxiety
I create new things