Fear is a strong
Driving force
Shame as well
But it does not
Heal you,
Keeping you trapped
In your own mind
Thinking
A Fake Life
To live without an income
Is to live in the shadow
Of other people’s money
Their will and their whim
Moves you around like
A puppet
The shame is great enough
To kill you, through you
In front of a train or tram
Instead you hide
Building a fake identity
That eventually becomes
What you are
Not solving, just hiding
Because the shame
Is so great
Where to start from that?
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Answer to Shame
I am on the run
From the shame of being
Such a bad father
Being such an incompetent son
And impotent lover as well
No one loves my soul
I am so bad
And I am so tired of being
Projected as bad for not fulfilling
Other people’s dreams
I am not bad
Just the answer to your projections
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Evening Prayer
Tired and full of shame
I end this day
I am so tired
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Who Silenced Me?
What made me silent
What happened
Why did I hide in shame
For so long
Why can’t I protect my self
From other peoples aggressions
So many questions
So few answers
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Cascading failure
Feeling bad and crazy
I manage to repeat
My failure today again
Frustration and shame
Is so hard to carry around
I wish that  was Different
But time past is time lost
Only the long days will ease
The pain
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Shame
Meeting the pain
Seeing my failed
Inner self
I am trying to hide
Hide from shame
My shame is hard to carry
I lost my self
I lost my soul
And now I am climbing
Out of that hole
Acceptens is gold
But better is breaking
Patterns
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The wall
Fighting the lonely battle
Again and again
Why is life so filled
With repetition
Why can I not change
I am trying
Again and again
Banging my head into the wall
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Painplay
Hiding away from other people
In a place with a lot of people
I am shy
I am ashamed
I failed
Trying to cope
Waiting for wounds to heal
Aroused by the feeling
Of shame and anxiety
I create new things
