Midday Night

Night is in the middle of the day

Sun is shining but in my mind

It is still the middle of the night

Looking for ways out desperate

Hungry, angry and lonely

Knowing the sun will never

Rise again in my mind

Living like a vampire

In the middle of the day

The Center

Freezing in the afternoon breeze

The setting sun changes the colour

Of the city giving an illusion of ancient

History that didn’t exist

The calm, slick atmosphere of the

Administrative building

So frustrating in its denial

And lack of a soul

Promises a future

That is doomed and fears

For it’s own shadow

I am that shadow

An Ugly Winter Night

Life at it’s worse
In the middle of the winter
In the land of the dead
The land of my dad

Where all emotion turned to ice
I never loved your white death
Ugly grey evenings starting at lunch

Slowly the cold eats into your soul
Numbing life and emotion
Here death regins

We move slowly through life
Never getting rid of the frozen ice
That has consumed us
That some think is so wonderful

Life

What do we give life to?

What is the basic meaning to it all?

All questions

We give and loses energy all the time

It takes a lifetime to understand a fragment

Of the soul and then is to late!

You are dead

And maybe have to

Start all over again

The Conspiracy of Your Soul

Sometimes the world

Start acting against you

Collectively

And all you have to do

Is to watch

And laugh

Whatever you do

Does matter

And does not matter

Beyond this point

That you already past

Long, long time ago

Deep roots connect you

To what might be

Your authentic self

The sun has already

Set and left for better

Latitudes

Going Down

I cannot save my world

Again I am into a battle

Against my self

I know what I want

But me, myself and I

cant do anything

To ever get there

Let it go down

Let it go down

I lost my soul

That I never had

Sinking In

When the energy is lost

You sink into the coma of

Self-reflection steering into that

Strange mirage that pretend to be you

The turbid picture makes a strange impression

Depression and self-pity combined with

Contempt is acid for the soul

Even mindless drinking is better than that

Our mind is constructed with the Thanatos

In mind creating the option of suicide quick

Or slow that takes decades

Only mad action can cure that

The State of Sweden

Like it is not easy to know

I opened my eyes

And realize that the man

That I used to know

Had killed himself

Half a year ago

He had a son

That played harmonica

At his funeral

All his friends and foes

Wrote how sorry

They were

And that his suicide

And that it had left a scar

I once met him in a bar

He told me how his life

Had turned sour

Losing control

And the right to see his son

Not even speak on the phone

Attachment is for fouls

They will easy take away

Their pray and your

Beloved whatever

I know that if I care

To much

My soul will be touched

When they take my children

Away

Pansar

Always on the lookout

Ready to protect myself

This is me

What I became

Always in fear

Always feeling inferior

And superior at the same time

My life has no purpose

No meaning

There was no plan

There is no plan

There will be no plan

I am just here