Waiting for the Great Destruction

Tepid days

Slow moving

Grayness rules

My world of lost

Hope and courage

Nothing to hope for

Just an eternal wait for

Spring and new options

That might never come

Soon the destruction of

Nature will overtake and

Change the nature of this

Place

Only organised

People will live here

Paying a lot of money

For being unhappy

But successful

The world will erase

Their memory

Shopping

The city is filled with people trying to sell you things, lifestyle, coke or their own life story (true or fake) The crazy art of selling nothing for something to someone. I try to avoid this place since I am out of money.

But new strange things happen and curiosity hunts the cat. A wonder formula for selling was being sold. Big audience of the same people hearing the same things as soo many times before. And then the disappointment of being there to listen on a 4 hour sales pitch.

Substance yes a little bit, credibility none. why does so many sales people trying to fool you? When I left the people of city had left and I did not buy a thing only enjoying the small green leafs on trees this late spring

 

Spring depression

Every spring is the same feeling

Depression, depression and frustration

It always comes in April

Feeling like a failure and frustrated like crazy

I am on the same place every year

Trying to cope and handle

Fight not to kill myself

Falling apart and

Slowly healing in the summer

Save me from those feelings

But nature has its way

Spring

imageThe winter that kept us warm is gone

And with the return of life every memory of what life could be floats up to the surface

Like corpses being hidden under the ice they stink of aspiration and ambitions, memes that survive like viruses

That is Transforming, destroying and remodeling is to something else than we want to be

White light

Burning far, far away from Burning man

It is cold here, the snow is still here

I do not expect any summer soon

But the light has returned

Changing the perception of land and water

At night

Fire and Ice

We hide inside the basement

Watching the destruction

From safe distance

While the dark sky looms over us

The ground is again frozen

And the water has turned to ice

And the city is very silent

Waiting for the return

OF spring

 

Interregnum

The plants are growing

Fast and furious

Trying to kill old roots

That once were healthy and strong

But only time will

Tell us who, if anyone won

The metamorphosis is quick and

Painful often killing its host

The only things that comes easy

Is the rain and the mosquitoes

And they are endless sources

Of frustration

As is the cold white light

At night

 

New day

The days passes quickly
The pain remains
It is just getting worse
I look out of the window
The spring birds sings
And I am still here in
The darkness fighting
My demons

Morning

I have hard to stand on my feet
The ground shakes
I try to focus
And she is talking
about the neighbours
their plans and projects
I threw up in the zink
She doesn’t notice
Complaining eternally
About me not doing
My part
I try to stay on my legs
Keep together
She keeps talking
I dress and walk
Out the door
She is in the living room
Reading the newspaper
Not noticing that I left
My feet still carries me
On the way to the crowded
Metro
Let´s turn this day
Into a succes I tell myself
Trying to get some breakfast
We are masks that meet and sell
Fewer and fewer of us
Turns up but we pretend
As everything is OK
Smiling in contempt to one another
Smiling in frustration
Pretending that this meeting has
A meaning and a cause
At least it is some normality
Even if it is fake
We have to prepare
For what is coming
When the war comes
We will in one way or the other
Need each other
If nothing else for company and food