PTSD By Day

Time runs fast and still very slowly

Experiences varies from day to day

The worst thing is that certain parts

Of the brain feels sealed off

Connection missing, meetings, decisions

Are not remembered

Living in the middle of the chaos

Is so crazy it goes on and on and on

To Catch The Ball

I forgot the ball while

Being trapped by my own mind

Moving around in small circles

I have no answer

And didn’t see the ball coming

Since I don’t even know

The very question

Eventually I caught the ball

And scored a goal

Consolation

It is not life itself

That brings you down

But the relations

The dysfunctional situation

The material conditions

All that can be changed

But changing the patterns

The thinking, the actions is something

Truly different

Things lose their meaning quickly

And then we are trapped in the quagmire

Waiting or even hoping to die

Invisible

Hiding away in a sofa

A place where I

Cannot be found

The mind is still

In flight mode

Quickly thinking

And searching for

Different ways out

What will settle its

Fright

Stress

When losing control

Remember

That you never had control

Just the illusion of being

In control