If you think that
Suicide is the solution
To your great confusion
Life has a surprise for you
What a gift
False Truth
Endnotes
So here we are again
Wanted by nobody
A wasted state of mind
Why do we exist?
There is no meaning to life
No meaning at all
What so ever
Soon we will be gone
Forever forgotten
Leaving this empty world
Behind us
We was never meant to be
Soon we will not be anymore
And it does not matter
Happy not to share
Another day on earth
With you all
There is no meaning in being
Just a meaningless life
Soon we will all be gone
Soon we will all self-destruct
Maybe the stupidest of us
Will eventually survive
Darwins principle
The survival of the stupidest
I don’t want to be part of this world anymore
The world doesn’t care
The world should not care
Please let a merciful God
Destroy us all efficiently
painlessly with pleasure
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Crossed Over
And this writing
The text is just
A desperate
Way to communicate
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In The Darkest Hour
Life is pain
I said to myself
Just a lot of suffering
No meaning to it really
I thought
Trying to topple the grief
In my closed world
Avoiding any encouragement
To live on
Still in the middle of all that
Darkness some glimmer
Of hope lived on
And on
Keeping me alive throughout
The yearlong winter
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Another War
There is no place for me here
Have to find another one
Another space, another situation
We have to make a change
I have to change
It is not easy
When the mind is not with you
But against you
It is a civil war
Within
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The Same Spring
Every spring is the same
My life is a great failure in every way
Planning to leave it all behind
Looking for methods, places and reasons
So I am sorry this is not working
Anymore
Still I go on
Event
Every year I climb
Out of this hole
Only to fall in it again
Every autumn
When the dark world
Returns
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The Spring Snow
Waiting for things
To end well or not
Life has long time ago
Lost its meaning
I just exist out of defiance
Against my country
That despises me
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Cold Spring
Planning my own
Suicide
Avoiding the worst
Ways of doing it
To go away
Requires planning
And relevant techniques
After a while
The insight that I am not ready
Slips through all the anxiety and pain
I return to the bleak sunlight
At spring biding my time
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Ways To End
Contemplating the many different ways to die
I could not make up my mind
Which one to choose
Anyone would be fine
But some more painful
Than others
This paralyzed the mind
And this mindless limbo continued
Until dusk
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To End It All
When I give up
I do it
The whole way
Just until
I am ready
To kill my self
Then I stop
Taking the
Very long and troublesome
Way back
Each time a little harder
Schibolet 