Life demands courage
To be bearable
Suicide demands
Even more courage
To be doable
Therefore the
Paradox of
Living
Without
Hope or will
Just let life
Go on and on
On Life
Going Down
I cannot save my world
Again I am into a battle
Against my self
I know what I want
But me, myself and I
cant do anything
To ever get there
Let it go down
Let it go down
I lost my soul
That I never had
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One Gray Day
After being abused and used
So many times, manipulated
Again and again, my sight
Was clear watching the
Devastated landscape
That once was my life
Goodness is the road to hell
I thought that love would
Heal her wounds but
Trashed people trashes you
And eventually destroys
What they have
Here I am trapped by
Doing what I learned
Was right, turned out
To be an illusion
I stand here
Not knowing
Where to start
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Sinking In
When the energy is lost
You sink into the coma of
Self-reflection steering into that
Strange mirage that pretend to be you
The turbid picture makes a strange impression
Depression and self-pity combined with
Contempt is acid for the soul
Even mindless drinking is better than that
Our mind is constructed with the Thanatos
In mind creating the option of suicide quick
Or slow that takes decades
Only mad action can cure that
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The State of Sweden
Like it is not easy to know
I opened my eyes
And realize that the man
That I used to know
Had killed himself
Half a year ago
He had a son
That played harmonica
At his funeral
All his friends and foes
Wrote how sorry
They were
And that his suicide
And that it had left a scar
I once met him in a bar
He told me how his life
Had turned sour
Losing control
And the right to see his son
Not even speak on the phone
Attachment is for fouls
They will easy take away
Their pray and your
Beloved whatever
I know that if I care
To much
My soul will be touched
When they take my children
Away
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In the Valley of Darkness
Life in all its variety
Is a prisma of suffering
In one way or the other
Trying to go
When its as darkest
So I don’t need
To feel any hope
When the light
Return
Hope
Returns
Eventually
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Annihilation
Life feels like a cave
Dark creatures climbing
On green walls filled
With moisture
A lot of life and in the same
Time no life at all
It is wet and cold here
And the silence is so
Telling
Everything is pointed
To annihilation
The hope is long gone
Your choice is how to die
Quick death or the long way
Of aging into obliteration
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Frantic
Radiant fragrance
Coming to life
Late in the afternoon
A will to live instead
Of dying slowly
Rather a quick death
Than fading away
Intensity as a way
To cover up
Mediocracy
Retribution of investments
Way, way to go
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December mood
Being cold is a condition
Not ever leaving your mind and soul
Missing the daylight and the hope of a better life
I never had my chance, never ever
That’s ok I’ll leave this world knowing
My life should never have been
I leave humankind to solve its
Own problem
While a little life survives
In dry tubers
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Regrets
Sometimes, Actually
Every day I regret
That I am still
Alive
Surviving has no meaning
In itself
No, only when you believe
In a meaning
But life is mostly suffering
For me
Maybe not for you
Life is an exercise in power
Control and most of all
Being without power
I lost control,
I lost power,
I carry the enemy within
Everywhere I go
Resistance is useless
But necessary
Even though it will
Cost me my own
Life, eventually
