The Outsider

Passion is so important

In this long boring life

Things that drives us

To fulfil, change, transform

Away from everyday life

Storms and disaster

Come and go

Passions stay and eventually

Destroys us but until then

It’s the fuel and fire

To Live Or Die

Somehow lost

Somehow gone

And

Somehow still here

A day in the middle of life

Trying to become sane

Not losing my head

Cannot solve the riddle

Being between

What I need and

What I ought to do

Life is lost only the long road

Of dying remains if I stay

Life is gained but only

Loneliness remains

Have nothing to say

This is life in a dysfunctional family

To Survive

Creating is surviving

Striving to grow

Out of my body

To grow out of my soul

To grow out of my brain

To outgrow my limitation

To receive

To give

To live

To die

I Don’t Want To Go

The end is so near

I am not ready

To end it all

Just lost the meaning

To live

Have to find a new one

I know I am not

Good enough and

That is not really

Where I want to be

Only That

I don’t want to break down

Or commit suicid

I don’t want to fight

I don’t want to hate

Someone I only want

To live

My life

Have an economy

That works

Not losing

Money every day

Only thar

Nothing more

Surviving

Fear is a good thing

Keeping you alive in the winter

Makes you run and avoid danger

The fearless might be the dead one

You find them frozen to death

In the morning

Looking like they are still alive

With open eyes

Getting By

Feeling like an

Ordinary conman

Just trying to get by

Without being

To hurt

Unable to achieve anything

No success, no money

Just a lot of angry people

Trying to put me down

Surviving Being a Partner to a Bipolar

Living with a bipolar partner can be very traumatic. All conflicts tend to be extreme. Whatever you are doing is completely wrong. You don’t deserve any credit for anything. No matter what you have done so far is never enough.

Then after that comes the change. She is so sorry for what happened and what she has done. Then there is a slight chance that you can agree on something. This agreement she might keep or not. But the that is s good start.

Once this pattern has repeated itself enough often. One start to adapt and create strategies for handling it. Eventually however it gets you and you can give up talking about your needs since they are not acceptable if he/ she does not feel well or is frustrated for one reason or another. It can be a family quarrel with a mother or something at work. You will have to carry the burden of that by being the target of aggression and merciless criticism for something completely different like putting the children to bed too late or in the “wrong ” way.